I want to talk about something because I feel like no one really gives advice or talks on it because it's uncomfortable -- but we need to talk about what to do when you have a racist friend as a white person/non-black POC that you're either tolerating or trying to reform (thread)

*Disclaimer*
Friends are a choice, when you keep someone around who is racist or discriminatory you now have the responsibility to cut them off or actively push to help them grow every day. This is not optional, you do NOT get to ignore it for the sake of keeping the peace.

I sympathize with the plight and I believe people can change -- that being said gauge appropriately. If you are safe to leave the friendship, leave. They are never entitled to love and compassion they cant expend on others, but if you're gonna float around - you need to fight.

#1 DO NOT INTEGRATE THEM IN YOUR FRIEND GROUPS ESPECIALLY FRIEND GROUPS W/ BLACK PEOPLE/PEOPLE OF COLOR

You putting this person in a sea of individuals who have potential to be dehumanized or heckled by your racist friend is not helping them or anyone.

It is not the job of unassociated people or any other person of color to help you out with this, if you have other friends who already know this person ready to actively work with you on this, then talk about it, but don't give them the opportunity to cause ppl pain for laughs

#2 WHEN THEY GET IN TROUBLE, DO NOT PROTECT THEM -- EVEN IF THEY DON'T KNOW BETTER YOU NEED TO PUSH THEM

Racist ppl will throw a bomb into a crowd then beg for sympathy when people go after them. This is for anything, but I can't express this enough - let them take the heat.

If you're thinking this is gonna set back progress or make them more vindictive then it's up to you to pull them aside and nicely say "hey I get you're frustrated and you're my friend but you were completely in the wrong and this is why"

Strangers are not going to be nice to your racist friend and you definitely shouldn't expect them to be when you're right there.

#3 DO NOT JUST LET THEM GET AWAY WITH SAYING UNCOMFORTABLE THINGS TO YOU

I know its hard, but racist people know when they're being 'controversial' and will intentionally get under your skin, say something back or do not respond & make your distaste for the behavior clear ALWAYS

#4 DO YOUR RESEARCH AND HAVE ALL KINDS OF SOURCES

Most racists don't listen to articles or stories, it's not gonna matter to them if it doesn't appeal to their bias to hate the ~SJWs~ and the ~radical left~, that doesn't mean its not something you shouldn't have an abundance of

Overwhelm these people with evidence, link them youtube videos and commentary, there's plenty -- (screenshot) twitter threads and more personable stories (I would avoid directly linking whenever you can so they can't go harass the individuals) but there's PLENTY to share

If you keep trying to argue with them with sense and morality they will ignore you because you are their friend and they probably already don't take you seriously, so have things lined up to back you own statements.

#5 WATCH DIVERSE MEDIA WITH THEM AND DISCUSS FROM THE PERSPECTIVE OF THAT

This one's a little funky but media is strong influencer & we know that, watch diverse television with them and use the show's plot/characters as an opportunity to delve into meta about why it. Bad or good

Even if its someting you consider bad representation..obviously be careful with this... but depending on the person you may be able to discuss the flaws in that sense and at least get your friend to go "okay I can see why that plot device/character choice was fucked up"

Unfortunately somethings don't knock into people's skulls until they see it outside of reality so take advantage of it.

#6 TOLERATE NOTHING, ANNOY THEM

I know it can get to a point where every racist thing that comes out of your friend's mouth feels like a slog and you've heard it a million times but seriously, annoy the shit out of them the way they annoy you and they'll stop eventually

If you just let them drabble on and on about whatever they want all the time not only are you gonna get exhausted but they're not going to think much of it. Even if you have to reverse it an express annoyance at racism that YOU see on a daily put it in their face

#7 WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS, PUT YOUR FRIENDSHIP ON THE LINE

If this is a person who cares about you then they'll try and do better for you, having a racist friend can be emotionally exhausting and draining, & like I said in the beginning, you can leave.

Make it known you will.

This is really a fail safe, I refuse to end this thread and demand y'all fight people who don't want to change forever when you could put that energy on your family or the POC around you. Force the issue. Have a heart to heart and make it CLEAR they have to change or you will go.

Some of y'all end up rewarding these people by being their friend no matter what they do and they never learn because no one holds them accountable and they don't experience any actual loss. Be the friend who says you've had enough and leave.

Protect yourself and others.

Obviously feel free to put your own advice below, I don't personally have racist friends and typically exit upon the first uttering of "alllivesmatter" from someone's mouth -- but that's for my sanity, I do genuinely believe people can grow and change and that Someone has to try

Unfortunately that person is not me, I am an african american woman who has just yanked herself out of internalized racism and self hate from my childhood, and it does get to being a little frustrating when people expect me to run that cycle with someone who doesn't care about me

So I'm speaking both from a place of what I've done in terms of other discriminatory behavior and from a place of...what I wish my friends didn't do/place on me when it came to their racist friends, so just take it in stride! #BLM #BlackLiveMatters