A few times in my life I’ve been told/told others something to the effect of “it will all work out in the end”. The connotation being that no matter what happens, you’ll be rewarded with success, even if you’ve had a setback.
It seems innocent. And while it seems like an optimistic thing to tell someone down on their luck, it’s something that I no longer am comfortable saying, mainly because whether or not it will actually “work out” depends highly on one’s privilege.
If you’re a cis white male, you’re operating in a system that was defined to work for you and give you opportunities. It will inherently be easier for you.
Several times in my life I feel like I’ve had opportunities just drop in my lap. I never really needed to plan out my career trajectory. I also struggled to understand those that did meticulously plan their careers because from my own experience, it always “worked out”.
There was a point when I had a sudden realization that the people in my life that had a very well defined plan for their careers were all non cis white males. Conversely, I don’t ever remember a conversation about career plans with my cis white male peers.
A non cis white male is working in a system that has inherent structural barriers to their success. It may never “work out” for them in the same way it would for a cis white man. I don’t have to deal with a racist boss, a bigoted colleague, or a community that is hostile to me.
My ask to my fellow cis white peers - be cognizant about your privilege and how it can bleed into your communication, even unintentionally.