Okay vent time
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So I've been writing a fic trying to emulate a stream of consciousness style that attracts me. I've seen it in popular fics and in novels, and I love the way it reads and resonates. The problem is that I've been struggling SO much to get this thing out.

When I compare the writing pace to my previous long fic (almost 12k words) it's so much slower, more tedious, and I find myself making excuses to not write. I hate seeing myself do this. Even factoring in all the stuff I've been going through lately, the writing process hasn't

been feeling as satisfying as previous stuff I've written. Whereas before I'd find myself overflowing with ideas to the point where I'd have to write them down or risk forgetting them, I've had to scrape material together to get anything long enough for a chapter in this new fic.

And I think I understand why. It goes beyond pushing my boundaries as a writer, or forcing myself to improve through practice/immersion; I don't trust myself as a narrator.

I have this "fear" that meaning will be lost, or I'll lose the attention/interest of my audience if

I dont explain things in excessive detail.

Stream of consciousness doesn't have to make sense /like that/ to make sense. It's messy, it's thoughts collaged together, it's the natural flow of the mind. But this directly conflicts with my rigid, detailed, explanatory style.

Even this thread is getting excessive because I have a tendency to become verbose when explaining instead of just trusting the minds of my audience to extract the meaning from my words.

I think this comes partly from my training as an English major in college.

Writing in an academic style rather than a literary one has stunted my growth as an author. It's why I struggle w threads.

I have to trust that I'm getting meaning across and even if I'm not, that prompts the wonderful minds of my audience to insert their own meaning.