When I was 17 years old I had my first real boyfriend, and he was black. My parents were very supportive but when they first met him they sat us both down and told us we had to be careful because of where we lived (rural PA.)
I did what an angsty teen does, rolled my eyes and said “okay.” They were so right. One night my boyfriend and I went to the movies. On the way home I was driving and he was in the passenger seat. We stopped at a red light and the car windows were down.
A truck with 3+ white men pulled up to the left of my car and said something like “hey baby.” I ignored them. One of them peered into my car and saw my bf. He said “she’s with a N. She must be a gd N-lover.” I just wanted to get out of there.
I grabbed his hand, as I felt his anger building, the taunting continued, I pulled forward, reversed, they followed. Eventually my boyfriend exploded verbally. The light turned green and I drove away. They began to follow us with high beams on.
The pulled up on the side of us, threw cans and who knows what else at my car. I tried just stopping and then they would stop, which made me even more nervous. Finally I was able to make my way to a highway. And my car was thankfully faster.
What is most memorable about this for me, is when in the middle of it I went to pick up my phone to call the cops and he grabbed my phone and said “please don’t.” Even as a 17 y/o boy with no prior experience with police, he feared them.
I don’t blame him, and year after year I reflect on this moment and think about how right he was. There’s no doubt in my mind, as I look back on it, that the cops would have defended the men in the truck. And if my bf got upset over that, he probably would be arrested.
This thread has several points:
1) There is a lot of covert racism in America but overt racism is still very alive
2) Of course there are good cops and perhaps we would have gotten one but the police system as a whole is racist (another discussion.)
3) If you are white and with your black friends and are thinking about calling the cops, no matter how straight forward the issue is, it better be for a good reason and you better be prepared to defend your friends.
4) Parents are always right.
Finally this is my 1 lived in experience of racism. Black people experience it everyday from education to work to housing to everything else. Point is, they have the microphone right now and I will do anything they wish to turn the volume up.
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