Let me share a story about calling out racism:

My father has been in the hospital the last two or so weeks with pneumonia, was released not long ago and is on medication that makes him weak and irritable. My dad is a huge, burly phenotypical black dude.

I called to see how he was doing. My mother warned me to take it easy talking to him and try not to rile him up (we argue about religion all.the.time) He just got out of the hospital and all, he need to not get excited.

In addition the pneumonia, he also has a preexisting heart condition that almost killed him while in treatment. So the dude is weak. Should be treated as such.

Well, about five minutes into the convo he goes deep into his Christian religion because he just had a near death experience, at least as near as hes ever been. Understandable, I just say I admire his faith.

He then goes into full proselytizing mode, trying to convert me (I am Agnostic). I warn him to stop because we're about to get into something that could hurt his health. He refuses to budge.

In the middle of a rant he starts talking about his dad, my grandfather & his time serving in the military. During this he starts calling Japanese people, "Japs".

This is the man who taught me about racism & it's terrible legacy in America. Taught me about being black.

He taught me never to qualify, explain, rationalize, or excuse racism in any measure. So I didn't.

I told my own sick, weak, heart weary father that what he said was fucking disgusting & to never say it to me again. Say what you want to other ppl but dont say that shit to me, & I hung up. That the last time I've talked to him. It's been a week.

When you really care about ending racism, it doesnt matter where it comes from & it doesnt mayter the circumstances. You unequivocally reject it. You dont parse bullshit. You dont hold back. You dont make excuses.

I want to talk to my father, hold him, tell him I'm sorry he's so sick & that I want him to live so we can play videogames & listen to music & enjoy our lives. But not if he's calling Japanese brothers & sisters epithets. So I can't & I won't until he comes to me to talk about it

White folks: this is what you need to do. Your sick grandma, your PTSD war vet uncle, your well meaning parents. You need to get in their face, tell them they're racist, they're wrong & they are betraying your values & you wont stand for it. 24/7 365

If you can't do this, you're not an ally. Period. If you can't do this, you're not against racism. Stand against racism, everytime, everywhere, against anyone who exercises it. EVEN YOUR SICK FAMILY. If they're strong enough to epithet they're strong enough for what they'll get