TW | CW : mental health ; ideations
#RUOK? I’ve said no for 4 months-

If anything happens to me rn, my parents and two siblings gets RM25,000 each out of a RM100,000 life insurance policy under my name

The beneficiaries of my unsigned will has been torturing me this pandemic & I’m going to fix my will this week

Imagine having corporate enemies who have nothing better to do but to cyberstalk you and physically stalk you every week

Imagine having immediate family and extended family who cyberstalks you to the point that you have 2 seperate Facebook accounts and 2 seperate Instagram accounts and they still locate you and try to shut you down for exposing historical abuse

Imagine having your High Commission; the Police; 1800 Respect; medics; immigration; your uni... all back you with solid professional advice;
But, you get held at a silent gun to shut the fuck up by your historical abuser(s) and circle, “it did not happen, you’re delusional,”

Imagine the only witnesses to the historical family violence that happened to you - are your dead ancestries

Imagine losing all your money this pandemic to your ex church; fam; friends... and still being held at a silent gun to comply; get your shit together; and get a “real job” because being an entrepeneur apparently isn’t real

Imagine being a sole trader with your own photo-video business;
Imagine being a wellness product business advocate;
Imagine being the CEO of a company trading under 3 different names.. still get told by Boomers & Gen Ys to “get a real job,”

Imagine the same humans who tell you to get a real job = same humans who persist in getting you to buy their facial masks / hire them this pandemic

Imagine being 10 and your sex life is your hometown’s gossip topic - of which in 2020 still remains the topic of the dining table

Imagine almost wiping clean 14 years of your digital footprint, changing new phone numbers, shutting 5 social media platforms, changing aliases weekly.. but your historical cyberstalkers & stalkers still slide into your new Telegram / TikTok DM

Imagine being told by Subang Jaya that having stalkers and cyberstalkers since age 9 is - normal - and that “You just need to move the fuck on, Claire,” ?!
Pls
Let me FedEx these stalkers to your house and DMs

Imagine being advised to lodge police reports against your physical stalkers - to have your hometown Subang Jaya trying to censor you -
“A nice girl doesn’t involve herself with the police - I’ve had the same historical abuse & stalkings like you - Just move on,”
?

Imagine telling your 2 x Instagram community for the first time :
1) 24 years of historical violence
2) 22 years of stalking
3) 5 months exacerbation of domestic; spiritual; family violence
-
Then, imagine your childhood best friends telling you
“You’re weak,”

Imagine providing content and trigger warnings for your Instagram feed
& people still sending you censorship requests daily because Subang Jaya’s reputation > your abuse

Imagine having childhood best mates tell you, “I will discount your reality because it is false,”
?

Imagine Subang Jaya still giving you hell from 6000kms away

Imagine having >15 mental illness prognoses - & then having your hometown mates & churches & families telling you, “Mental illness isn’t real,”

Imagine having the most communists to the most alt right trying to censor you daily lol

Imagine centrists and lefties as the only humans who are not censoring you - where the far left and far right are sending you daily censorship requests / demands ?!

Imagine being professed to have an agenda by humans who have an agenda in dictating your life

Imagine 10 megachurches cyberstalking you

Now imagine you sending them legal warnings of which they then turn it on you as cyberbullying - of which you let it slide - and yet they still cyberstalking and stalking you rn

& then imagine you giving up in pursuing any legal actions against historical fundamentalist abusive cults (jokes I mean *church) and then you wake up from lucid nightmares from historical and present-day trauma of dealing with said Malaysian and Australian churches

No but seriously imagine 300+ of your family and friends still stuck in the same international multi-million fundamentalist cult - still trying to suck you back in rn and bribing you to shut the fuck up about their abuse

& then imagine having > AUD70,000 historical rehab bills
+ growing medical bills this pandemic, yet when you bring up 22 years of family violence - the same cult says :
"Those are strong allegations you're making,"
* jokes therefore my abusers (cult members) > me ?

Picture this thread not as clickbait but legit cry for help #seriously