I spent years of my life calling out my family for racist comments, to the point where they would specifically make them to see if I was listening. It made me furious and exhausted. I stopped calling them out on it. Eventually my bros and dad stopped making then around me.

Today my dad asked me if I had heard about #GeorgeFloyd and we actually talked about racism. He told me about a UK black man who was murdered when he was young, assumed to have a gun and was fired upon by multiple police. He was not the man they were looking for

Same shit different day, huh? Dad is more moderate in his views about it than me. He seemed surprised that I had heard about mr Floyd, since I don't have a tv license and don't watch the news. I talked about other incidents, in America mostly but also Canada

I didn't give names bc my name memory is terrible. We didn't talk about the riots bc I didn't want to hear him talk about peaceful protest. That hasn't worked. I remember learning about MLK and Malcolm x in high school, remember wondering why you'd be violent.

Violence doesn't work, right? It's just a bad idea! Except I'm older now. I understand that if racists are gonna lynch people, throw acid into a pool to stop black people swimming, attack and kill people for wanting to attend school just like everyone else, riots aren't

An escalation. They're an expression. Racists have been disgustingly violent for years. Segregation in America wasn't that long ago. The kkk is still alive. Racists make me sick. #BlackLivesMatter shouldn't have to be a hashtag. But it does, bc racism exists from

Microaggressions to murder, and all of it is shit. I don't know where I'm going with this thread. It's just made me remember so many disgusting comments my family has made. How many times was I too scared to say anything? How much did I not notice bc I don't listen to them,

How much more needed to be called out? I have dozens of stories of white people and how they view black people. My eldest brother bit a black man as a kid bc when he asked about different skin colours my mum told him black people were made of chocolate. I had to ask my brother

What the non-racist term is for a "black man's pinch" bc that's the only way I knew of it (it's a blood blister, by the way. My paternal grandfather, an all around piece of shit, complained years ago bc when he was young he had a dog called the n word and now he "can't do that"

I'm just angry and tired and I know I'm not even a fraction as angry and tired as the black people who have to deal with this shit every day. They can't just close Twitter. I don't understand racism. I don't want to. It's vile. It is a cancer that needs to be rooted out