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I think I& #39;m terrible because I& #39;m running away from reality and my responsibilities, and despite knowing that, I don& #39;t try to fix it. Also no, I don& #39;t need any pats or sympathy because I hate people looking down on me or pitying me. Just need to rant about myself here.
The other day I got into an argument with my mom. She was worried about my physical condition so she wanted me to go out and ride the bike or sth, I refused. She also wanted me to play less. While I hate this controlling behavior (telling me what to do), I also knew her
Intentions were good. I& #39;m lucky to have people caring about me, yet all I do is cause trouble and leeching. I think a reason why I don& #39;t want to leave my comfort zone is fear/anxiety. I& #39;ve never been good at socializing, and the unknown scares me.
The worst is I know all that and overanalyze everything, I know that practice makes the master, that I& #39;ll be fine around people because I& #39;m somewhat adaptive, yet I lack the will to take action. Trust me, I have so many plans but zero willpower to execute them.
Why did I study? Because I didn& #39;t want to work and socialize yet. If I could turn back time though, I really would and get the required job experience every company wants. Basically I can& #39;t get internships because I& #39;m too expensive for them. Laws force them to pay me minimum wage
Yet I can& #39;t get the real jobs because I lack experience. Solution: get skills via self-studying and make your own projects, while keep applying to jobs. But I can& #39;t even do that, so I beat myself up while I don& #39;t even try. I& #39;m not depressed though, it& #39;s difficult to describe
Though I do question my existence. Wait... Midlife crisis with 24? Sounds legit.
