Have developed my own theories as to what happened to members of the Addams Family.

A thread.

Wednesday Addams married Joel Glicker. Against his will. They have two and a half children. He is currently still chained up in the vault.

Pugsley Addams was incarcerated for arson. In prison, he worked out and grew into his looks. Once released, he appeared on the cover of multiple fitness magazines and became a media darling. Most of his girlfriends remain missing.

Uncle Fester descended into the basement several years ago to locate some stored nitroglycerin. He hasn’t been seen since. Although his shrieks are still audible throughout the house.

Grandmama is inexplicably still alive. She has written 17 bestselling cook books and is still a person of interest in the mysterious deaths of several television talk show hosts.

Thing spent the better part of a decade starring in extremely niche porn. He married one of his co-stars. She remains VERY satisfied.

Having been bestowed a substantial portion of the family fortune, Lurch appeared on a season of The Bachelor. Despite proposing, the relationship ended quickly, with her death being ruled an accident. He remains the family’s butler.

As with most men of a certain age, Cousin It eventually succumbed to hair loss. Everyone was surprised to find that ‘he’ had in fact been a ‘she’ the entire time. She is currently sharing an apartment with Margaret Alford in Florida.

Pubert Addams overcame alcoholism and became a born-again Christian.

This lasted 2 months before he burnt down the church. He has since rededicated his life to Satan.

Gomez and Morticia died in a Bonnie and Clyde-esque incident. They are of course buried in the same coffin on the family property and visit once a year during the Addam’s seance night.