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Being a white-passing 1/2 black woman has been a true learning experience of the everyday casual racism that even your “woke” white friends have. It’s important to reflect on your prejudices, even if you don’t think you have any. Because chances are, you do.
Things that have been said to or around me because I appear to be white:
“so can you say the n word? Or do you have to put the a at the end?”
“[insert racist thing here], but you don’t count.”
“Do you count as my black friend?”
“You’re so lucky you got white girl hair.”
“so can you say the n word? Or do you have to put the a at the end?”
“[insert racist thing here], but you don’t count.”
“Do you count as my black friend?”
“You’re so lucky you got white girl hair.”
When I went out with my dad, a very tall, black man, I would sense the stares. When I would tell people he was my dad, I’d get the classic: “he’s so eloquent.”
I recently learned that my white grandmother used to tell people in the store that I was “tan” when they would ask what race I was. She was ashamed of my blackness. Growing up, friends would say things that would also make me feel shame.
I “went out” with a black kid in middle school (so like, hugged in the hallway) and I remember he gave me a necklace. Many of my friends responses were “he probably stole it.” WE WERE 10! A 10-year-old black kid is already labeled a thief.
My favorite is “I’m not racist, BUT.” That’s how a lot of my white friends would start a sentence when talking to me. If you have to qualify it, you’re racist. Those are the rules.
And there are SO many other examples. I will never experience the racism being faced today, ONLY because my mother’s Irish genes won the battle for my skin color. I have actual “thug” relatives, and every single one of them is white. But they don’t have to live in fear.
All this to say: the first step in making this world a safer place for black people is starting with yourselves. We’ll never be rid of police brutality if EVERYONE doesn’t get on the right side of history. Black people are exhausted. It’s time to let them rest.
