First evening out in months last night: at the vet’s with our 10mo cat, Crookshanks. He’d eaten a length of string that was tying up a camping mat (I imagine him tying on a napkin & hoovering it up like spaghetti). 1/6

We only noticed sometime later, when we spotted some string hanging out of his bum. I picked him up & gently pulled on the end (THIS WAS INCREDIBLY STUPID; NEVER DO THIS), which kept on coming until he escaped, with 70cm of pooey string trailing after him. 2/6

We caught him, cut off the string & took him to the vet, who said that if a cat has string coming out of its bum you should leave it, as pulling it out could (sob) cause internal injuries. However she checked him over, pronounced him uninjured & charged us £166 (I KNOW!). 3/6

She suggested we go home to see if the rest passed naturally. Of course I asked whether it could be really serious & how long we should wait. How long is a piece of string? she said. 4/6

Actually, she said how long is THE piece of string? As I estimated that almost all of it was already out, she wasn’t too worried & told us to call in the morning. 5/6

Happily this morning I dissected Crookshanks’ poo with a plastic knife and found the final 42cm (112cm in total!), so case closed. It wasn’t the worst evening out & I certainly learned a useful lesson about cats’ bums & string. Let’s hope Crookshanks did too (unlikely). 6/6