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So I& #39;ve woken up in one of those & #39;reflective& #39; moods, a bit like how I get every NYE when I look back on the year. It& #39;s a good thing though, reflection is a good thing, right? Feel like everyone has learnt a lot about themselves from lockdown.
I used to pile these kind of musings in to a blog, but in lieu of that - Twitter will have to do. Lockdown has felt longer for me than most, as before it officially began, I had already taken a few weeks off between jobs - the beauty of being freelance.
The ugly side of being freelance soon reared its head though, when like the rest of the creative industries I& #39;ve been in a jobless pickle. However, this isn& #39;t going to be a rant about that - it& #39;s actually a more of a positive take on these past few months.
Aside from the initial financial concerns, and a slight obsession on my part about wiping everything down with Dettol and stripping off in the hallway before coming in to the apartment, Will and I have coped with this pretty well.
Truth be told, I think we& #39;ve both loved being with each other all the time, not that we weren& #39;t tight as could be anyway, but what this experience has taught me is that once you strip away other stresses in life - namely work, you really get down...
... to the core of what fuels your relationship. No distractions, no email alerts, no social obligations. Just you and your other half. We& #39;ve not stopped laughing. We& #39;ve finally had the time to binge watch every show on our list and had more lie-ins than I could admit to.
On a personal level, as someone who& #39;s had a few years of social anxiety disorder - isolation has put me right at ease. Unfortunately I know that it& #39;s not a cure and that I& #39;ll encounter challenges again once lockdown is over, but for my mental health...
...it& #39;s been cathartic to not have those triggers & feel like I could just & #39;hang that coat up& #39; for a few months, so to speak. Like a holiday for your head. I& #39;ve also learnt more about myself, with respect to physical health.
I& #39;m not going to mince my words... I& #39;m not physically fit, I& #39;ve put weight on & I& #39;m in a pickle. As someone who has been skinny and lanky for most of my life, weight gain is a relatively new concept for me.
Don& #39;t get me wrong, I& #39;m not unhappy with how I look - but I& #39;ve put on 10kg over the course of a year and that is insane. I don& #39;t have a balanced diet and I don& #39;t have the patience or tolerance for exercise to the extent that I should.
I& #39;ve really tried too, it& #39;s not that I& #39;m lazy, I& #39;ve invested (financially) quite significantly towards various equipment or services to encourage myself to get fit - but I& #39;ll never be someone that buzzes off those endorphins or can ever say I *enjoy* exercise. I hate sweating ha.
But now I& #39;m in this major pickle because I want to lose weight, but nothing sticks. I am a fussy eater, so dieting options are going to be a challenge and I& #39;m physically unfit and bored by ANYTHING fitness related - and I mean anything.
I spoke with my Mum about this earlier in the week, and she reminded me that my Dad has a history of heart disease and it& #39;s likely hereditary - so as she bluntly put it, "do something about it, or die early." I wish that even that was motivating, but in fact it just makes me...
...think, "oh well, best make the most of these next few years" LOL. I& #39;ve also learnt that there& #39;s a ton of things I& #39;d like to change about our apartment once we are more financially back on track.
