Two things people need generally to feel ok: some sense of safety + some sense of control.

Feeling reallly awful, unable to concentrate, impaired memory, + like you’re swimming in pea soup?

Your central nervous system is working overtime.

Because safety & control feel far.

It’s ok to take time to take care of your body as you petition, as you teach, as you protest, as you advocate, as you learn, as you absorb.

It’s essential. Because the CNS cannot be outrun. Health longterm is dependent on daily acts of care.

Prepare for the long haul.

One of my first meetings in DC after Ana was murdered was with a consultant I’ll call, “Bob”. He looked the SH parents gathered, bereaved for a few months + said something like, “I know they told you that you were going to come here and get this done in one trip.

This will happen incremental steps. Kids have died before. They have pictures. I’m still working with parents from tragedies as far as twenty years back. Change will come. In your lifetime. Just not all now. Stay healthy so you can fight. And take care of yourself.”

I was stunned. It was the opposite of what we were hearing. Mostly from people who exploited our pain. Some from desperation. Others for profit. But it was a long haul fight message. And we are still friends because of it.

Another thing:

Be careful where where you donate and who you’re listening to now.

There is ZERO need to start up our own things. Especially if we aren’t Black/our organizations have zero Black leadership. There are many options for giving by people doing the work. And we need to listen.

Use wisdom. Use wisdom. Use wisdom. Use wisdom. And dig deep.

Who we are listening to and where we give matters now. It’s also a legacy thing. We should never be okay with movements being co-opted. People being unrecognized and exploited. I know that feeling well.