I haven't followed the Sansa and Tife story, I only just got a request to comment on it. I have read both threads and I feel fully prepared to walk into the fire.

This will not be a balanced view, it'll be biased. It'll not be objective.

At the end of the day, we all have to pick a side. And I have always gone where my heart takes me which is anything closer to the truth. Because it is impossible to know the real truth if you weren't in the relationship with them.

I'm going to try analyse the issue from both sides.

I read Sansa's thread first and the summary of it is that she has been in a relationship with someone who she felt betrayed her. I'm going to be try choose my words very carefully because since I wasn't there, there's a chance

she's speaking the truth. That Tife was indeed a horrible partner. The main bone of contention is rape which she "felt" was what happened.

Now, I need to understand how one "feels" raped.

Rape is not like an emotion that can come and go. It is an action. It either happened

or it did not.

You can feel happy, you can feel sad, you can feel used, you can feel played, you can feel terrible, you can feel sorrow. They are feelings, which opens the door for doubt. We all have feelings. Some of us can have more than two at once.

Feelings come and go. If someone makes me feel bad, i can hate them for it, but it is not a crime punishable by law. It is a feeling.

Rape is not a feeling. I would never subscribe to that. Rape is an action, it is what happened, it is not in your head. It happened.

It is not a dream that you wake up from. It is not an insult that hurts your feelings, it is not the scolding of a respected fellow. It is rape.

Common!

If you get hit in the head with a stick. You got hit in the head with a stick. You do not "feel" like you got hit, you know.

What do you mean you felt like it was rape. 12 year olds know the difference between actual events and feelings. I feel like I'm a billionaire. So where's my billions?

Our society cannot afford to blur the lines between what is considered acceptable sexual contact and what is

not.

Rape does not take place in the emotional realm. It happens in the physical realm.

That doesn't just sit right with me. Rape is a crime punishable by law. It reduces men to animals. It is an abhorrent act that is unjustifiable by any means. It is a serious crime. Rapists are not merely bad people, they are criminals.

So, i do not think it should be taken with

levity. From any side of the spectrum.

Rape is not a feeling, it is an action. It either happened or it did not.

Now on Tife's side.

He also feels unjustifiably presented. He seems to think, it was a premeditated action that was taken to present him in bad light.

He knew this but still apologised. Sounds like a dickhead move because apology can be taken as feeling of guilt. So why did you apologize, what are you truly guilty for? You knew a girl was trying to get words out of you, and you engaged her without a lawyer. Where is your brain?

Truth is we know who will win this argument. You cannot win a fight for sympathy against a woman. Which means he gets the short end of the stick on this one and maybe rightfully so. Maybe he was indeed a bad boyfriend who scorned his then girlfriend and you know what they say,

"hell knows no fury than a scorned woman."

I have seen the replies on both threads and I already notice who's getting the popular vote. Men cannot side with you on things like this, nobody wants to be seen as a rape apologist and rightfully so.

I don't know how people have sex nowadays sha because communication matters. Half of pleasure that comes from sex for men is seeing that you're pleasuring the other person. So we always look out for their reactions. We want to know if we're doing a good job.

And you can always tell a pleasure tear from that of discomfort. The moment you noticed a change of countenance, you should have spoken to her. There's nothing like "sorry" while you're stroking. That's selfish and uncompassionate and makes you bad person. Rapist, I don't know.

But let's be sure about one thing.

Rape is action not a feeling.
And being a bad partner, doesn't make you a rapist because rape is a crime, there's nothing in the constitution about generally being an asshole.

But I guess the deed is done now, we are all just commenting.