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I've been caught up in the hurt of the world that I didn't have a lot of capacity to hold space for my dad and a lesson he left for me
So, if you don't mind I'd like to talk about my father - Lamar Stevens
So, if you don't mind I'd like to talk about my father - Lamar Stevens
Shortly after I was born, my father and mother split. And Lamar realized he was not in a position to raise me. So, instead of being the product of the system - he made the best choice available to him: he let his parents raise me
My paternal grandparents are upper middle class. They would be able to make sure that I had access to things that I needed. I had severe ADHD as a child and was viewed to have behavioral problems - my grandparents could afford to send me to a school to teach me how to learn
Because of the difficult decision my father made - I grew up wanting nothing. I had a great education, food, clothes, toys, vacations.
I grew up cultured and worldly and I was allowed to explore any creative outlet I wanted. I grew up blessed
I grew up cultured and worldly and I was allowed to explore any creative outlet I wanted. I grew up blessed
Lamar did his best, in spite of his own demons, to be there for me and be an active part of my life when and where he could
And when I eventually came out to him as an adult - he continued that. Acknowledging my chosen name, identity, authentic self
And when I eventually came out to him as an adult - he continued that. Acknowledging my chosen name, identity, authentic self
You see - Lamar was not a perfect man. I don't anyone is perfect. But he also battled his own demons and did what he could to help others. To a fault and his own detriment - my father extended himself to others. My father had a LARGE heart - it runs in the family
Whether in small actions like sending me a birthday card for his daughter. Or large ones like giving me up to his parents - he did whatever was in his capacity to make sure I was okay
It's no surprised later in his adult life he went for his social worker degree
It's no surprised later in his adult life he went for his social worker degree
I lost my father multiple times in life. To disappearances as he battled his demons. To the hate in my heart that took time to let go. To the numerous strokes he had due to his poor health. And finally, to pancreatic cancer
My father left me one lesson that I want you to hear
My father left me one lesson that I want you to hear
You do what you can to help others. You do it whether it's what you want or not; whether it hurts you or not. You do it because it is the right thing to do.
You help others because everyone should have the chance to be their authentic selves & a shot at their best lives
You help others because everyone should have the chance to be their authentic selves & a shot at their best lives
And if you are not able to do that for others. If you can not and do not have the capacity to that for others then you put as many people as close to the goal post as you can. You make sure they are with the right people so that they have a fighting chance at "better"
When you see me use my platform the way I do. To talk about my lived experiences both a Trans person & a Black American. To speak out for LGBTQ rights. To speak out for Black rights. To stand for diversity a&inclusivity. To do what is right.
That's b/c I'm Lamar Stevens' child
That's b/c I'm Lamar Stevens' child
This is Lamar Stevens. A man with a large heart and even larger smile.
It's been one year since he has passed and I hope I continue to be even a fraction of the person he was. To continue to do for others what he did for me.
I loved and miss my father a lot
It's been one year since he has passed and I hope I continue to be even a fraction of the person he was. To continue to do for others what he did for me.
I loved and miss my father a lot
