Well this just made me feel guilty even more, I've been bullied back in elementary and even though I couldn't fought back to the bullies, instead of ignoring it I started bullying others who I know that they are weaker than me or just more sensitive than me. https://twitter.com/kinoluiz/status/1244849494207807489

I've become the "bullied Bully" get it? And because of this thread and me over thinking again, it makes me 'more guilty', may be an understatement let's just say I don't deserve the people who I befriended right now.

It is because that I've done horrible things back then and there's this recent confrontations that made me realise that what I said to that persons characteristics and behaviour, was the exact characteristics and behaviour that I had when I was bullying

I told my friends that I don't like her cuz she's so manipulative and a big fat liar... And thinking back I to did manipulate people into thinking I was the victim back in elementary and to support that manipulation I Porposly LIE to Finnish my assault

And right now, and because of this stupid quarantine it's like I'm being tutored by my past mistakes, past failures, they are haunting me to the point I couldn't even understand myself.

I don't deserve forgiveness, why? Cuz it is just a facade that people give you to either forget you or to destroy your ego and mentality. What I deserve is damnification, Redemption? Ehh am I to holy to you?