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Young me: a story. When I was a drama student, we all read The Stage& #39;s advertisements in the hope there& #39;d be acting jobs we could fit around college. Most of the jobs weren& #39;t really acting, but they suited actors. Lots of face-to-face sales, promo work etc. I found one looking..
...for dinner companions. Well, I liked dinner. & I was good at conversation. It seemed perfect. I was offered an audition immediately. I had to get myself to an Underground station & call them. I did so. The casting director said he was sending his driver to collect me...
..it seemed v. impressive, but also scary. I didn& #39;t know where they were taking me. A lovely shiny car arrived, & I got in. He drove me to a mansion block. We went up to a glam apartment. The casting director was lovely to me & asked all about my interests.
I told him about Shakespeare, & how much I liked the National Portrait Gallery. He said I could definitely have the job. And then he said "
You seem like a nice girl". "Thanks!" I said. "So my question is, what& #39;s a nice girl like you doing here?" he literally replied.
You seem like a nice girl". "Thanks!" I said. "So my question is, what& #39;s a nice girl like you doing here?" he literally replied.
Well. I was quite puzzled. I asked what he meant. "How many sexual partners have you had?" he asked. "None! I& #39;m a Christian!" I replied, quite proudly. "Uh huh. Well I& #39;m a pimp" he said. "And if I ever get a client who& #39;s only looking for conversation, you& #39;ll definitely get..."
"the job". His driver drove me back to the Underground station. And I felt quite excited to have met an actual pimp, TBH. Sometimes he cameoed in my fantasies, in which he was less nice. And that, dear all, is why I think it& #39;d be great if people were allowed to actually advertise
honestly. To save all the 19 year old, Christian drama students from auditioning successfully to be escorts *by mistake*. The end. Thanks for listening. He really did seem a very nice pimp.
Fuuuuuck I just remembered I wrote him into a stage fight script. Because of course I did 
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