Have been thinking a lot about the #AmyCooper incident.

Not sure if its the fact that the guy is a birder and that he remains so calm despite the danger he's in. His thank you and exit as the dog is leashed. Or if it's the confidence she has in the power of her whiteness.

Or her faux panic. Panic she knows will be believed to be real. The fact that she knows her actions could have him killed and that's OK, because he invaded what she thinks of as her space. Who is he to be there anyway, let alone school her?

It might be that this chimes with my own (much less troubling) experiences in parks and public spaces. Especially in areas where there are few brown women, so I stand out and am stared at. Where I'm (hopefully) left alone if I'm silent, but risk a racist diatribe if I'm not.

It might be the fact that it reminds me that British birding/nature organisations like @Natures_Voice @WildlifeTrusts are such white, male, middle class spaces and although they want our membership and fees, they do little to create organisations and spaces that are inclusive.

It must also be the fact that the nature/birding 'community'/orgs on Twitter in this country have largely been silent about this video. People who are so passionate and eloquent about the threats to our species and planet seem indifferent to the existential threats...

faced by their fellow humans and those who share their hobby.

It's like I live in a different world to these seasoned birders and leaders, in whose rarefied lives these things don't even seem to register. Someone literally tried to have a Black birder killed!!

It could be the fact that being in these spaces continues to tire me as everything is set up for people not like me, and the white gaze and the male gaze has functioned unchecked for so long.

It's tiring to be in spaces where you can't show up as your whole self. And of course, it's far worse to have your very existence threatened, simply because you went out birding and acted responsibly as Christian Cooper did.