I felt it was important to respond to this comment about gender critical feminists, as it is an accusation that I keep seeing from some people who claim to represent those of us born with differences in their sex development.

I would agree that our lives and bodies are easily dismissed in debates about gender - and that comments such as "all women are XX" are overly simplistic and exclude those of us with complex variations in our sex characteristics

However, this comment ignores the far more aggressive push to force a narrative onto all of us born with differences in our sex development, that we are neither male or female or that we are a third, fourth or even fifth sex.

It is hard to understand why Morgan Carpenter is not critical of this approach, which 'others' all of us born with different bodies. Is he supportive of men with mild hypospadias being told they are 'less male' or even women with PCOS being told they are 'less female'

Does he want newly diagnosed teen girls with CAIS to be told they are a third sex or neither male or female? Is this a supportive way to talk to children & young people about their complex medical history. Is this how he wants to talk to parents of children born with DSD/VSCs?

From my perspective a far better approach is for us all to stop talking about 'what we are' - and instead talk about 'what we need' - and this is even part of the Darlington Statement (although a part that many activists choose to ignore)

So what do we need? My priorities would be 1) Good psychological support for families, especially new parents, so they're able to be the best advocates for their children & are able to fully understand the risks of any interventions and know that is is OK to delay

2) Specialist nurses to be a point of contact for new parents, to provide information and support - I think this would likely do far more to reduce interventions as with information & support, parents are empowered to advocate in the best interests of their children

3) Good psychological support for children and young people, including opportunities to meet peers facing similar complex issues. This would include access to stories & narratives that allow us to describe our experiences in the way that is best for us.

4) Good & respectful medical care, that includes sensitive use of language - and language that doesn't other us as neither male or female or a third sex (all health professionals who use the 'genderbread' person please take note, this is not a sensitive way to discuss intersex)

More than anything, what we really 'DON'T' need is to be used as pawns in debates about gender or as 'gotchas' in Twitter arguments. We are real people & not just interesting anecdotes from medical journals or gender studies textbooks & our gender is only rarely an issue for us

So next time you want to tweet about the lives & bodies of intersex people, maybe just think for a moment and consider 'what we need' instead of launching into another debate about 'what we are' - thanks for reading #intersex