Yesterday, a friend told me a tremendous story about Jessica Simpson, sourced from Jessica Simpson's new memoir "Open Book".

Back when she was a budding star, JS auditioned to appear on TV's THE MICKEY MOUSE CLUB. Her fellow auditionees that year included Britney, Justin Timberlake and Ryan Gosling, all of whom were selected to appear on the show.

JS, however, was eliminated from the process at the semi-final stage. Feedback from the producers rated her singing and dancing very highly, but felt her acting "needed work".

Her parents, determined to transform their child into a triple-threat, subsequently enrolled JS in - and I kid you not, this was once a thing - The Chuck Norris School of Acting.

After a few weeks of classes, JS was performing a scene with a fellow CNSoA attendee, when the action was stopped by CN himself. CN, it seemed, had notes.

"Do you know who the best actor working in Hollywood is?," asked the bearded kicker. (At this point in the memoir, JS confesses to wondering whether she was meant to answer "Chuck Norris".)

"The best actor working in Hollywood," CN went on, "is Denzel Washington."

He continued: "And do you know *why* Denzel Washington is the best actor working in Hollywood?"

A pause.

"It's because HE NEVER MOVES HIS EYEBROWS."