I use to think parenting was the prime goal of this life bruhh! But seeing how people talk about their parents and all the "you don't owe your parents blah blah blah", omo Marriage is the new happiness zone I envision. This is so funny, I use to to see babies and think awwn

If you think of the background your parents had, the knowledge they had, the resources they had, the culture they grew under, the experiences they had as kids, you'd realise they did a better jobs than their own parents - which is the best anybody can do. To improve, not perfect.

Parents of the previous generation put their kids first and it was the norm in their time and still seeing them get bashed on here regularly says a lot about how unkind people can be. They get hated on because of beating a child with slippers or belt - which was all they knew.

Now you're born into a time where you are a Creative, you can switch jobs after two online courses. So you don't know what it means to have to do a 3yr course to chase a career or age restrictions of professional courses or lack of funds because a child's education was priority.

"They should have expected these things when they planning for a baby"

Hold up there, the concept of planning wasn't the NORM in their time. They knew life in phases, marriage, child bearing and as it comes. They didn't forecast economic trends, inflation, naira going to shit.

In fact, then, going against societal pressures was weird. "we don't want to have a baby in our first 3 years", their mother in laws will call family meeting and talk to both their kids.

Straight up manipulation - "I AM DYING, YOU DON'T SEE WANT ME TO SEE MY GRAND KIDS???"

You don't see that! It is comfortable for you to just judge your parents.

"Why would you pass on your frustration on me? I didn't do anything, I was just a kid."

One thing you learn as an adult is that everyone is reacting to something. Background, Pressure, expectations...

Fear, uncertainty, and thousands of forces. If you've been intentional in any friendship or relationship, you'd see it. Parents have to live their life and manage another life at the same time - with a strong emotional bias for the child that clouds their judgement w/t a manual.

So as you judge, be kind. You know better because of your parents actions (good or bad) you learn from them. They laid that foundation to learn. They were human and could make mistakes. Come to terms with that and move on.

Your kids will have complains too, you can't be perfect.

Just trust God to lead you through the process of parenting and pray for your kids now - before they come, pray for them. You've that power as a Believer to alter things in prayer.

Parenting isn't black or white, it is hella gray. God help us all.