Continued exposure to racism and its effects is trauma + more white ppl who think they are allies need to understand this. A repeated insidious ongoing series of events. Your black friends will not tell you this.

If “racism” as a word makes you uncomfortable you should prob unfollow me but instead I’ll say repeated and systematic dehumanisation or othering of a group of ppl based on the colour of their skin. That can show up at any time, any place unannounced.

The dehumanisation can be benign + unintended but it’s still dehumanising and othering.

4 a black person in a predominantly white country the effects of racism are probably best compared to a form of PTSD. Which is why the angry black person narrative is so reductive. Anger is some ppls response to trauma. Maybe they want to cry but vulnerability requires trust.

And how are you going to trust if you don’t feel safe? Of if the things you know are very real aren’t even acknowledged as happening. The closest parallel here may be domestic violence or sexual abuse.

I know some ppl who follow me will get upset I didn’t put a content note for that last tweet. It’s deliberate. Black ppl aren’t warned when racism confronts us at work, on the way home from friends or sometimes (for ppl with non black relatives) in our own families.

So yeah you like our food and music and maybe sometimes you love us but also start to notice what the world is like for Black people. The stuff you can dip out of as and when. Notice + acknowledge it. Don’t leave it to us to do all the time. It’s exhausting.

But don’t go 2 far. I don’t need to be tagged into police brutality or statistics about how I’m less likely 2 be in leadership positions or have a job. I KNOW. Share that with ur fellow white friends bc they seem to think we are making it up and just need to smile + be polite .

The hardest working, most polite, kindest most even tempered, smartest dressed black person in the work is still Black and there are plenty of ppl who will make judgements on them before they’ve even opened their mouth or pulled out their degree certificate.

“What can we do?” I’ve heard this so many times. I don’t know - not leave it to the only black person in the room or organisation to bring up race + Inequality at work?

Go and make your own bame contacts instead of repeatedly expecting us to be the black person whisperer? Yes I prob know more black ppl than you We don’t all know each other .

Understand that black friends, colleagues, lovers may actually be pretty badly affected by repeatedly seeing dehumanisation of ppl who look like them on the news .

Not expecting ppl to always be polite in the face of what is actually repeated trauma over time.

Non black partners of black ppl (incl NBPOC). You need to make sure that your black partners can talk to you about racism and anti blackness and feel listened to. You will not know how it feels to be black. Ever. You can listen to somebody who does.

And... when they challenge you on stuff you may have done or your family or friends . Listen to them + support them. I have seen marriages end bc of this.

For non black parents of mixed black kids. You need to educate yourself independently of your partner “I don’t notice it” or “I can’t ever understand “ will not fly. Your kids will be read and treated as black all around the world so up your game + protect them .

Black ppl if you have a non black partner who you can’t have difficult conversations with race about. 1) you need a new partner 2) pls don’t have children with them.

My (white) partner tells me that I told her she needed to read “why I’m no longer talking to white ppl about race” if we were going to be a proper thing. I don’t remember that but tbh if somebody can’t put in 8 hrs to read a bit about how race affects you then is it a good sign?

Note I’m saying non-black ppl. Again deliberate. There are many commonalities between exp of all POC in predominantly white countries. BUT anti blackness pervades all non black communities world wide and any honest non black POC knows this.

So when a Black person says something about their experience that is specifically to do with anti Blackness pls suck ya mum if you decide to use a non-black POC as a counterpoint.

On the Angry Black Person point. Maybe it’s anger (which is entirely valid) maybe it’s a safer way of expressing despair, fear, sadness, shame, disappointment.

Black ppl reading this express your anger to ppl who understand and love you. But also don’t let other ppl define your Blackness. Go watch birds, enjoy nature, laugh, seek love all these things are resistance too. Blackness isn’t struggle. A racist world makes life a struggle.

Full text of above with some typos cleared up now here in a blog. Share it with whoever you think needs to see it on and off here . Exposure to racism is trauma https://ieshasmall.com/racismistrauma/ 

Lol. My mum read my post and called my dad then she called me to take it down In case work don’t like it. I told her I didn’t care but anyways my boss knew about me before I was hired.

Mum update. Now placated she’s gone from “delete this “ to sharing it with her friends on what’s app