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there were two separate protests for unjust killings of george floyd and breanna taylor by police today. and there will be a three tomorrow with a protest for the murder of ahmaud arbery planned.
it& #39;s tiring having to prove your worth every second of your life. it& #39;s exhausting to constantly prove that your very existence has value. knowing that your life truly doesn& #39;t matter to people...it brings consistent anger and unrelenting sadness.
it brings angst....it brings massive anxiety knowing you& #39;re taking your life into your hands stepping out of the door each day and that it could be the last time you see your family.
it& #39;s wearying seeing those in power either doing nothing or are powerless to try, or are either creating policies to keep minorites from progressing or are gaslighting the divisions we already have between us all.
i& #39;m a father of a two and a half year old little girl who is incredibly smart...intelligent...inquisitive...beautiful....i& #39;m so proud of this kid. i tell her everyday that she& #39;s going to be a world changer...changing this world for the better. i am legit fucking scared for her
i& #39;m terrified of having another child...especially if it& #39;s a boy. we are trying. i& #39;m questioning if i should. i don& #39;t want to have kids in this climate. the fact that i know that they will have to clean up the fucked up mess that we made with little help bothers me to no end
the main theme of the shawshank redemption is "hope" ... there& #39;s just a hopeless profound feeling of sadness that i have. and as much faith as i can muster...its emptiness right now. it& #39;s because of a body of work. we& #39;ve done this song and dance before with little to no change.
so as i sit here, knowing that i need sleep, knowing that i can& #39;t sleep, watching these divisions get worse and worse, i can only look at my daughter sleeping like an angel and know that my wife and i have to keep going and face this world for her. no matter the adversity.
