I wish all the takes on Cross being bad at parenting weren't "Cross is an abusive shithead who beat, humiliated and exploited Allen" but "Cross, an extremely knowledgeavle person, but is comically lacking on common sense in regards to children".

"Wait, you weren't supposed to give kids bread soaked in alcohol? But it helps him sleep through the night!"

"What do you mean it's 'too early to start gambling'? It's never too early to rip off bastards! And the kid is a natural talent, and I thought I had to support that?"

"You look like shit, kid. Uh, I know some girls who'd gladly let you squeeze their boobs or butt."

"Master that's something *you* do to cheer up."

"... Boobs *and* butt then?"

Allen: *wipes the floor with his poker partners*

Cross: *lifts Allen up from under his armpits, lifting him up like baby Simba* this is your new king shitheads, get on your knees and hail the King of Corruption!"

Cross: *soars through different books on parenting* how the FUCK do I express solidarity with my damn kid other than "wow, that's shitty", here take a drag.