Read on Twitter
wonderful being able to dump my thoughts onto this site and get little to no attention for it. i can just say the shit that’s on my mind and not get judged too hard for it and that’s cool. but i also feel like that’s a big reason i have such issues with socializing now :// +
i’m so afraid to speak my mind around people and even the friends i have now, i feel like they only see me as 1) fucking weaboo, 2) obsessed with plants, or 3) haha funny meme lady. i can hardly even write/draw a solid perception of myself because i feel like such a +
multifaceted person what with all my trauma and such, and there are so many thoughts running through my head at all times that scare even me sometimes so why bother opening up to people anymore. i’m just gonna scare them away. and it’s not like i haven’t TRIED. i’ve opened up +
to a few people within the last year or so and it’s ended with me nearly getting raped for one, but mostly just feeling like a fucking joke. and it doesn’t help that im STILL reeling from a broken friendship that ended like 6 or more months ago and that i know i’ll never +
experience with another person again. i can open up to one (1) person and thats my bf but even then i feel like it’s impossible to fully get my point across. it’s just a feeling i’m sure but i feel like nobody will ever understand the mess that’s my brain and i WANT to make +
more friends because having a social life is nice and shit but it’s so fucking hard to open up now. i’m waiting for people to reach out to me but that’s not gonna happen if i don’t put myself out there first. god i’m fucking lonely
thank god twitter makes me feel like i’m talking to a brick wall cause if i put this shit on instagram or something i’d get so much pity but i don’t want that shit. i just want people to Understand
reading this thread right after i vomited all those words out and even that looks/feels pathetic. didn’t nearly get the point across i meant to but you know what, whatever. not like i can communicate it in the first place lmao
