A few years ago when I was still married, I hired an escort to join me and my husband for a threesome. I organized the play date as a birthday present for him.

We’d had threesomes with men many times, but we’d never had another woman join us before.

Birthdays were important to him and I wanted to do something really special for this one. I knew this was something he wanted to do with me, but I’d always held back out of insecurity.

I decided that organizing everything myself would help me feel more comfortable and in control. I would be able to choose the other woman and talk to her beforehand to make sure that she was friendly and nice.

After hours of research I found someone who seemed like a good fit and I booked her for a 1.5 hour session. She worked at an agency, but she maintained her own presence on one of the local boards, so I was able to exchange a few messages with her before booking.

When she showed up, I felt what can only be described as dread. She was incredibly beautiful and I felt desperately ordinary-looking in comparison. I wish I didn’t feel so threatened by her, but I did.

My husband was waiting in the living room when I met her at the front door. I showed her to the restroom so she could freshen up and change into something sexy.

I joined my husband in the living room to wait for her, and when she came out to meet us, his eyes lit up. I was proud to have found someone he liked, and at the same time I felt insecure and jealous that he liked her.

It was confusing.

My hope was that we’d all sit in the living room for a bit to chat and get comfortable with one another before moving into the bedroom.

My poor husband was so nervous and excited he could barely string two sentences together, so she ended up doing most of the talking.

To my horror, she turned out to be quite fascinated with me, and seemed to be trying to use the session as an opportunity to learn both about and from me. She hadn’t expressed any of this when we exchanged messages on the board, so I was quite taken aback.

“I’ve heard of you,” she said. “I was so excited when you reached out! My boss says you’re one of the smartest people in the industry!”

Oh no, I thought. No, no, no. What is she doing? This is supposed to be a sexy present for my husband!

Stifling my horror, I fake-laughed and launched immediately into work mode (by which I mean, I took control of the situation and steered the session in the direction it needed to go). I changed the subject. I smiled. I flirted. I suggested she sit on my husband’s lap.

Thankfully it went smoothly from there. She was not skilled in the conversational arts but she certainly knew her way around a man’s body!

The three of us ended up in bed together and after giving my husband a blowjob for a few minutes she put a condom on and climbed on top of him.

He put his hands on her hips and gazed into her eyes before blurting out “you’re perfect!”

My breath caught in my throat and I felt like I had just been punched in the stomach.

My husband had told me I was pretty. He had told me I was beautiful. He had told me I was sexy. Never in all the years we’d been together had he ever called me “perfect.”

At that point I realized I just needed to put my brave face on and get through it. I was determined that he would have nothing less than an exceptionally fun birthday.

I never told him how the experience made me feel. To this day he has very positive memories of that birthday and that makes me genuinely happy.

I am someone who wants to push my boundaries in order to please a partner, so I don’t regret the experience. I believe that if we had done this a few more times, I would have been able to work through the insecurity to get to a place where I genuinely enjoyed myself.

Looking back on all my threesome experiences, I have most enjoyed and much prefer being the “other woman.”

For me, there is very little emotional risk in playing this role, and I get an incredible rush from turning myself into a sort of novelty item for a couple (ie, I get off on being treated like the “shiny new toy”).

Despite the experience with my husband not going as well as I would have hoped, I wouldn’t take it back. I learned a lot about my needs and how to communicate them for the future.

Plus, I still feel enormously proud of myself for orchestrating a birthday celebration that he still refers to as one of the best birthdays he’s ever had. I love the satisfaction of knowing that I was able to do that for him.