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Since everybody needs a break from everything I shall offer up a story of DaveinTexas today. Let& #39;s begin. Are you ready?
This morning my work responsibilities took a turn for the worse
I am the preznit of a tech company and most of the people who work here are younger than me. Adjusting to coming back to the office. It& #39;s hard on them but we& #39;ve been bearing up
They are bearing up. We have a temp testing station at the entrance. Peoples check and sign. I sign off on it every day
So doing our part to help them feel ok about coming back.. distancing, sanitizing, a few of em wear masks. I understand
So doing our part to help them feel ok about coming back.. distancing, sanitizing, a few of em wear masks. I understand
Anyway around eleven or so I need to take a leak after 3 cups of coffee and 8 oz. of Diet Mt. Dew
I& #39;m old. This happens
I& #39;m old. This happens
So I step into our pristinely remodeled men& #39;s room to do the thing
We have 2 stalls, 2 urinals.
I notice feets in the small stall, door open on the big ADA stall
Don& #39;t give me the stink eye, you look too
This is, unusual
We have 2 stalls, 2 urinals.
I notice feets in the small stall, door open on the big ADA stall
Don& #39;t give me the stink eye, you look too
This is, unusual
So, curious me, I check out the toilet in the ADA stall thinking "do I need to replenish TP?" Again, you wear a lot of hats when you are the old man in charge
I peer into the ADA bowl.
I don& #39;t know how to say this delicately, there is a giant dark brown cloud in the basin. I am disappointed thinking "oh, a forgetful flusher"
but no, I flushed, and
I don& #39;t know how to say this delicately, there is a giant dark brown cloud in the basin. I am disappointed thinking "oh, a forgetful flusher"
but no, I flushed, and
It is revealed to me that there is a turd bigger than my foot that is stuck and will not flush. Someone has shat a giant wharf rat
Well, I recoiled in horror as if I had found a severed head, but I regained my composure and recalled I have a responsibility here to the men who work here
What to do, what to do
What to do, what to do
Well Dave, I say to myself, well Dave you have a key to the janitorial closet
This doesn& #39;t make me not dread the responsibility I have
This doesn& #39;t make me not dread the responsibility I have
SO I go to my desk and retrieve the key, open the closet and search for tools to remedy the situ
There& #39;s a squeegee, some brooms and mops.. these things would require burning after use
There are gloves and I put em on
There are gloves and I put em on
Cause. Gloves.
And my little eye spies a plastic knife on the shelf
Surgery is the answer
And my little eye spies a plastic knife on the shelf
Surgery is the answer
I re-enter this EPA disaster zone, hold my breath and incise the offending thing down the middle. Having successfully achieved floatage, I flush
SUCCESS!
SUCCESS!
I have been a good boss. Scalpel was rinsed and scrubbed in soap and tossed with the gloves. People could poop all afternoon as needed
I think while I was washing my hands up to my elbows I hummed Happy Birthday 5 time
I am the president of a company. This is what I do /fin
I think while I was washing my hands up to my elbows I hummed Happy Birthday 5 time
I am the president of a company. This is what I do /fin
