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Being loved for my power was the worst thing that ever happened to me, Period.
Put physical and emotional pain aside.
When I felt my ego& #39;s growth encouraged with the reward being more love.
Power infected my soul, and I slowly lost my heart to delusion.
Slid from my sleeve to the bottom of my stomach.
When I felt my ego& #39;s growth encouraged with the reward being more love.
Power infected my soul, and I slowly lost my heart to delusion.
Slid from my sleeve to the bottom of my stomach.
It& #39;s likely the minority who has the context to understand this tweet. But I was called hot and sexualized with my skill in videogames.
And I loved it.
Now, having become what I& #39;ve been through; becoming my past.
Now, knowing what I know about myself...
And I loved it.
Now, having become what I& #39;ve been through; becoming my past.
Now, knowing what I know about myself...
I& #39;m sickened when I look back.
I don& #39;t want to.
But I have to go to "that" place to get to a better place.
I can only heal myself from where I see myself when I look my soul.
I& #39;ve tried desparately to find a perspective that puts me "higher up."
I don& #39;t want to.
But I have to go to "that" place to get to a better place.
I can only heal myself from where I see myself when I look my soul.
I& #39;ve tried desparately to find a perspective that puts me "higher up."
Any angle to catch my best qualities and put them above. But this road is about what& #39;s inside. What is below....
I look 360 degrees. And I see a monster, a self-masochistic, self-hating, shame-filled, intimacy-avoidant, sex-addicted... human being.
I look 360 degrees. And I see a monster, a self-masochistic, self-hating, shame-filled, intimacy-avoidant, sex-addicted... human being.
I& #39;m barely able to carry the weight of who I really am step by step let alone look back and have genuine and insightful introspection.
And so I& #39;m even further from being able to function maturely and rationally within a relationship or friendships.
And so I& #39;m even further from being able to function maturely and rationally within a relationship or friendships.
This doesn& #39;t mean I& #39;m going to stop trying though. I will bash my horns into the wall and climb and fall to battle through. I will give it all just for the chance to keep fighting.