I had never heard of Myka Stauffer until today but apparently she and her husband adopted through a special needs program from China, filmed regular updates on his adoption, detailed his reactive attachment disorder and autism online, and then after 3 years home, rehomed him.
I have many, many thoughts. This is very tragic for everyone involved. But I'm frustrated by their statements around "not being told" about their son's issues. This happens in adoption. And also in childbirth. You do not get a dossier of every possible outcome in either scenario.
Sometimes our kids have challenges we didn't sign up for. I have two kids by birth and two by adoption and we have medical issues and psych issues and diagnoses that were not predicted. And those challenges deserve privacy. And consistency.
I'm intimately familiar with RAD and also have an online platform but when we were going through the thick of it, I had the foresight to think . . . maybe this is not for public consumption. Maybe this is private. Maybe my kids don't want or need this detailed online.
I want to urge the Stauffers to consider is taking some private time for their family right now. @MykaStauffer you are asking for people to respect your privacy . . . but then you need to respect the privacy of ALL of the children involved. Go quiet for a bit. Take a pause.
You have violated Huxley's privacy in that he is no longer your child and you have video after video of him online, including details of therapies and diagnosis. Those need to come down if he's no longer in your custody. Every single photo and video he's in is now a violation.
And while I'm sure there are folks who think I've violated my own kids' privacy by posting about them online, I do think that there is a line between sharing select photos and stories and oversharing about private details, and you crossed that line a long time ago.
"How will my kid feel about a classmate reading this in middle school" has been a question I've asked myself a lot, and it has served me well. I am very concerned about Huxley and all of the kids and what is being documented right now.
This is a massive, massive trauma and loss for your own kids. I totally understand that you make a living sharing your life online but please consider scaling some of this back. Your children just lost a brother.
I believe you loved him and you are all heartbroken. I believe you are devastated and I have compassion for all of you. But please take all of that conviction into your actions going forward.
Take some time to heal as a family. Turn the content off for a while. Give your kids the privacy they need right now and take the time to process your own healing without the need to think about how you will tell the story to the public. You will all be better for it.
You can follow @kristenhowerton.
Tip: mention @twtextapp on a Twitter thread with the keyword “unroll” to get a link to it.

Latest Threads Unrolled: