Why Hogwarts is the shittest school ever

First years don't enter the Forbidden Forest or else you get detention and your punishment is to go into the Forbidden Forest, even if it is Forbidden for a reason, we’ll let you go there because it’s for educational purposes. And you will be split up to add more danger!

Oh shit, people are getting petrified, what do we do? Not close the school, we need to send a professional conman in. Someone was possessed for an entire school year? No problem, give her a chocolate and she’ll be calm, no need for mental help or any support or anything.

A mass murderer escaped? We’ll guard Hogwarts with Dementors, which risk sucking souls out of students if they want to go outside. But they can go Hogsmeade even if the murderer could be lurking in there, and ignore the fact they killed Buckbeak for no reason that's calm too.

Someone underaged entered the tournament? Snm we’ll let him get chased by dragons, get drowned in the lake and overlook the portkey in the maze which someone will use to end his childhood. And we just sit on the wooden benches and wait. And there's an imposter teacher too? smh

Someone is in the castle and is making Hogwarts hell? Do nothing, that’s a sick solution! And leave the castle unprotected while the Headmaster fucks off, let’s torture students and force the truth out of them, that should do the job.

Oh shit someone in the school is a Death Eater who’s trying desperately to kill someone by creeping in cursed objects, and no one tries to find out who. Calm, we can treat vanished bones and shit anyway what do we have to lose?

Let's let these yutes use love potions which are basically magic date rape drugs. And polyjuice potions. And wizards are racist to muggles. And we have truth serum and we could get rid of all crime but nah there's still criminals what the FUCK.

And Dumbledore fancied wizard hitler and basically killed his sister and leaves Harry the dumb fuck in an abusive house and his hiring choices are shit and he hides valuable information from everyone for no fucking reason. These movies make me want to kill myself. End of my rant.