Raise your hand if you're an Asian woman who was told to never ever date a black man.

(A thread on anti-black racism in my Asian family.)

My family is very social. They have friends from all over and definitely do not think of themselves as racist.

It felt normal when my grandma threw out some of my teddy bears because they were "too dark".

It became less normal when I was told to not date black men.

In high school, two of my best friends were black but light-skinned. They were welcomed, invited to dinners, all good.

But then I befriended a darker-skinned guy.

After my mom met him, she told me we could hang out but I could never date him and NEVER introduce him to grandma.

If my grandma *had* met K, she would have met a thoughtful, funny, talented, and intelligent young man.

Instead, she would pass him on the street now and only see him as another black man: a threat. A danger.

I hate that I didn't have the courage to make that introduction.

When we were in public, K would always slant his eyebrows and scowl at the world. But when alone, he would smile and laugh freely.

I asked him once why that change happened. He said, "because people will only ever see me as an angry black man, that's all they get from me.”

So: the people in my family are racist, or accomplices to racism. Through their language and actions, I was taught to be racist.

And if you’re an Asian woman who was told by your family to never date a black person, your family is racist. You were taught to be racist.

It’s uncomfortable to speak about this. It’s uncomfortable to look at these memories.

But it’s a hell of a lot more horrifying to see an Asian man turn his back while George Floyd was murdered.

Speak up. Stand behind the black community. Break the pattern. Fight for justice.

Here’s a very informative and thoughtful thread on what the Asian community can do to be good allies.

https://twitter.com/meadow_horizons/status/1265844392582995969?s=21