I got some DM's angry with me because I haven't commented on George Floyd and what looks like a murder to me.

My silence isn't indifference. I just don't have anything to say that hasn't already been said by people more eloquent than I am. I can offer what I'm thinking....

I think about hearing a man begging to live and that not mattering to someone. I think about what kind of absence lives inside people like that. I think about what those officers would have done with their day had they not been filmed, had they not become a global story.

Would they just go home. Make some dinner. Kiss the wife and watch Netflix. Maybe they would have joked about it, smothering what little conscience they seem to have. I think about how I'm concerned the President will use this as a wedge issue to make everything worse.

I think about how this is part of the reason I don't have children, and don't really want to have them. If I was a parent, I'm not certain I could protect them from this kind of threat. How would I?

I think about why this makes me speak to every police officer....

...I see in my neighborhood, with kindness, introducing myself, so if I'm ever mistaken for someone that committed a crime or perceived as a threat, perhaps knowing who I am will make them less likely to kill me.

I think about how I've gotten used to my life mattering less.

I think about George Floyd's family and how they have to share their horror with the whole world, how his death, his murder both needed to be witnessed while I'm certain that makes it harder for them every day.

My silence isn't indifference. I just don't have anything helpful to share. I watched that video and I can't get his voice out of my head. It could have been my voice. I've been harassed before. I've had officers point a weapon at me when I was clearly not the suspect.

Words are my trade, but in times like these I only see the limits of rhetoric. I have called the DA to express my horror and my desire to see this prosecuted. I will continue to call, for what that's worth.

I dunno, y'all. I wish I had insight. I don't. I'm just horrified.