Thread by @nevergetfooled, THREAD (CW: Abuse, DV, violence, murder)........So I read this article last night, [...]

🏳️‍🌈Jennie ⚢ Trott aka "Collateral Damage"🏳️‍🌈

nevergetfooled

THREAD (CW: Abuse, DV, violence, murder)
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
.
So I read this article last night, about a woman now serving 19 years in prison for killing her abusive partner. And I have thoughts, and I want to lay this out for you so you can see what's really going on. 1/

We're starting in the middle, because how we got here doesn't matter. What matters is we're living in an unstable, violent environment. No matter how hard we try to follow the "rules", mistakes are made - or arbitrarily assigned - and punishment follows. All day, every day. 2/

When we try to reach out for help, we're told we're lying - "but they're such nice people!"

We're accused of bringing it on ourselves - "but what did you say/do to make them so angry?" Or, even better - "well, if you hadn't *minor (or imaginary) offense*, they wouldn't..." 3/

And, too often, when we dare to raise our voices about what's being done to us, we're told to "stop being so angry." We're told we should just leave - but given limited, or no, resources or support to do so. And through all of this, we're still facing violence EVERY DAY. 4/

And then comes the final straw. They've hurt or destroyed something we cared for. And we object, loudly. They admit - or don't - that they've hurt us, but now it becomes about our tone. How DARE we raise our voice to them! You want something to scream about? Here, bitch... 5/

And somewhere in the middle of being threatened, screamed at, intimidated, actually beaten, something... snaps. It becomes clear that if this doesn't stop, we're going to wind up dead.

And we become the violent ones. Because we've realized we're fighting for our actual lives. 6/

Then society steps in and calls us criminals. Tells us that because we finally, after decades, *lifetimes* of abuse, finally responded, and in the only real way that would change what was going on, we will be punished AGAIN. That there's no justification for what we've done. 7/

I read one story last night. But I've read dozens of others, just like it. There are more I scrolled past, because I just couldn't, again. And hundreds, THOUSANDS, I'll never hear. Maybe millions.

It's how this fucking society works. 8/

Abuse always comes from a position of privilege. They do it because they know that they can get away with it - that their victim doesn't have the support system in place to prevent or stop the abuse.

And it manifests itself in the way victims are *always* at fault. 9/

Abusers know they'll be given a pass for their (over)reaction to even minor "offenses", and believed even if they lie about their very existence.

They know that even if they are "caught", the punishment will be minimal to the point of absurd. 10/

Victims know this, too. So often, our final, violent response comes because it truly seems the only safe way out. And surely, other people will understand that, right?

But they don't. They see a valuable entity destroyed, and a less-valuable "offender". 11/

And that's when the screaming starts. "NOTHING JUSTIFIES THIS KIND OF VIOLENCE!" "THEY HAD OTHER OPTIONS!"

And the "reasonable" backstabbing - "well, I felt a certain amount of sympathy for them, but surely they could have reacted more *peacefully*!" 12/

After all, your abuser was one of US.

That's what it comes down to. We're punished for not allowing ourselves to be killed, because we're not one of "them"... and our potential murderer IS.

And to make the point that inspired this thread... if you can look at all of that... 13/

And not see the SAME BULLSHIT FUCKING NARRATIVE IN THIS...

You're fucking blind.

And YOU are the goddamned problem.