This is not the adoption update @MikethyKing and I thought we would be sharing today. A SAD THREAD.

Up until last week, we were feeling quite hopeful with the progress that was being made in our adoption journey.

We had started doing virtual interviews with the social worker through the agency, and felt they were going very well. We had a few more scheduled and felt we’d likely be done this stage of the process and actually get on the wait list by the end of summer.

We were getting ready for another interview with our social worker literally just an hour before we got the email from our agency this week announcing that after 20 years, they were CLOSING PERMANENTLY.

The email said the adoption agency is closuring because “the need for services to birth parents who are making an adoption plan has declined.“

Basically, in Alberta, there apparently aren’t enough people placing babies for adoption for the amount of people who want to adopt, and the number of agencies that currently exist (four, now three with this one closing).

This news hit us extremely hard.

We can’t even begin to imagine how those who have already completed their applications and have been waiting on the list (some, waiting for years) feel.

Our reaction after the initial shock, was: of course this would happen to us. Of course the adoption agency we chose would close. Of course there aren’t enough babies for the number of people who want them but can’t have them.

Of course we spent nearly the last year (after trying to conceive for five years before that) going down this route that has now ended abruptly in this way.

We are waiting now to hear back from the agency on next steps. This could take weeks, we’ve been told. They’ve informed us that for those who want to, they are working to see how files can be transferred over to the other remaining Alberta adoption agencies.

Mike and I very unsure about this. If adoption has been deemed no longer viable at this agency, how could adding an influx of hopeful parents to another agency, in the same province, with in theory the same pool of potential birth parents (not very many), be any better?

We are also, as I’ve said before, “sign” kind of people. And we feel like this is a very bad sign.

We’re taking time now to consider our options. That also includes waiting to see if we get any refund from the agency for what we’ve paid for services that are now not happening.

They had given us an option of continuing our interviews (since their transition to close will go until July) but, why would we continue doing adoption interviews with an agency that is shutting down?

And if there is no certainty at this point if everyone and the stages we’ve gone through will be transferred over seamlessly to another agency?

And why would we even want to go with another agency right now if there are going to be so many other people trying to switch over, to agencies that likely have a lot of people waiting to adopt already?

We are heartbroken. But happy that this news came while we were together (Mike will be leaving for a work shift again next week).

Mostly we are very sad. But that’s become pretty much a standard feeling for us when it comes to anything baby related.

We don’t know what we will do. We have laid out a few options and are taking some time to think it through.

But the more time that passes where we don’t have a child has led to us increasingly coming to terms with the fact that children probably aren’t in the cards for us and something like this adoption agency closure just feels like a big Yeah, obviously it ain’t happening.

Mike and I had never imagined having children would be this hard. And we wish no one had to go through this much to become parents.

So, that’s the update.