Story time- The insidiousness of how black men are viewed.

I want to tell this not just because it happened to me. But because I want folks to see how our sons, fathers, brothers, are viewed. I texted my story to a friend and the pain came back to me in waves.

It was nine years ago while I was in Durham. I was making money in a side job doing taxes for folks who didn't trust or want to go to big tax filing companies. Mostly referrals from friends so steady yet small flow of business for me.

A lot of my clients back then were immigrants, one particular lady from Pakistan wanted to be friends badly with me. And I at first did not mind but she was very vocal about racism in ways that began to make me uncomfortable.

She stopped by my house one evening to go over her taxes and talked about how black men were scary to her. And how while she enjoyed our "friendship" black people especially men frightened her. I did not have much time to respond to her comment as kiddo came downstairs.

Now this lady who just finished lamenting how scary black men are. Gushed over James, how cute he is, how smart and adorable...just full of praise. Kiddo smiled headed back upstairs and once again she marveled at how amazing he is...

My response to her was simple. "Yes and he will be a black man." She paid me and left, our "Friendship" over she didn't bad mouth my business or warn folks off me. But she was too embarrassed to continue to fake the front of our "Friendship."

Her viewpoint is not that different from so many people. What you view as "scary" is our children. Our fathers, our husbands, our family. You don't see their smiles, their gentle side. You automatically assume they are "Scary." It needs to stop. And it starts wit your mindset.