I look back at things I did when younger, not knowing I was autistic, wondering how on earth I managed.

Truth is, I assumed everybody felt extreme anxiety and physical discomfort all the time, so, not wanting to make a fuss, just got on with it. Not always successfully.

I have an uncomfortable relationship with this idea. On the one hand, I know that I was consistently pushing myself too hard and trying to do more than I ought, and this probably hastened my burnout. On the other, I'm glad I did some of the things as they're achievements.

But despite this doubt, I know that ultimately not knowing your own neurotype is damaging and will cause harm. There are still millions of undiagnosed adults out there, living a life of stress and possibly unhappiness, unaware of what it is that's wrong.

This is where adult self diagnosis comes in, I feel. It's such an urgent need, to establish what is different and how to be compassionate for your autistic self, that it can't necessarily wait for the hoop jumping of getting a diagnosis.

This isn't the direction I expected the thread to go in, but I'll roll with it. The mental health impacts of trying to fit into our neurotypical landscape when #autistic or in any other way neurodivergent can be extreme, including, sadly, suicide.

Showing compassion to those who self dx as a way of making sense of everything in order to save their mental health is vital. Gatekeeping #autism is unhealthy and weirdly elitist. Yes, some may self dx erroneously. Some may even just like the idea (!) but not the majority.

Many of us late diagnosed autistic adults have pasts marked with trauma, stress, mental health issues and more. This is true of the non-diagnosed too. We have to understand that.