Thready McThreaderson...

So, one of the books that I fell in love with while I was coming out of paganism into the non-denominational "Baptist with a coffee shop" Protism was "Redeeming Love" by Francine Rivers.

It was recommended to me - oddly enough - by the pastor's wife, who later left him for another woman but that's a different story, and oddly ironic since she recommended this book.

For some strange reason, I decided to pick up this book again. For those that aren't aware, it's based on the book of Hosea in the OT.

The first time I read this book, it was Triggerville, esp since I myself am a DV/ sexual abuse survivor. I read it, thought it was good & set it aside. The book focused heavily on mental trauma that abuse survivors carry with them and how it affects their lives and relationship.

I will also admit to never having read Hosea, who was a minor prophet. Even then, knowing that was the inspiration for the book.

So here we are, 10 years later. I'm back in the Church and open about my previous experiences. For some reason, I open the Kindle app on the iPad and that was the first book that pops. I was reading something else, but I decided to give it another go.

From page one, I felt my skin crawl. It's crazy how God moves things in your life with His permissive will - how the first time I read this book, I was in denial - about my abuse, about the truth of the Church Jesus established.

I set the book down and actually READ the book of Hosea.

Here are my takeaways -

You're broken. I'm broken. This WHOLE THING is broken...and yet...

Our Lord comes after us time and time again - no matter the horrible things we've done, the pain we inflict or the denial that we carry that He loves us.

Did you read that? I'll say it again.

HE LOVES US.

Everything in our nature runs from that love. It's too big. We feel like we can't handle it or that we aren't worthy of it. But when we turn around, after whatever slight against that beautiful heart we've done, He is there.

I find it oddly apt and perfectly timed that during our current struggles, Our Blessed Lord hands us something on which we can ponder. Something we can reflect upon that makes us realize, "you know what? This whole thing may suck, but I really am loved."

How often do we feel alone? Cast out? Unworthy of anything good or beautiful?

I'm raising my hand here, because I still struggle - knowing I have a husband who loves me despite my oddities. Knowing my family always has my back.

But until you get to the MOMENT where you let it truly sink in that you - YOU, reading this - YOU were and are worthy of the pain and sacrifice it took to redeem you, you may always doubt yourself.

The whole point of this is to say do not doubt.

YOU are loved and uniquely created. You are worthy - no matter what you've done or who you think you are.

Place your trust in the one who made you; in the one who knows how many hairs are on your head and who knitted you together...