hey, black afab here. it makes me really happy to see so many moots and people i follow speaking up and spreading awareness about the extreme injustices my community faces. ALL #BlackLivesMatter regardless of gender, age, skin tone, or social standing.

in light of this situation, i’ve been thinking about my relationship with my own blackness. i was born into a middle class family. i’ve had the privilege of growing up in the safety of suburban neighborhoods my whole life.

because of that, i’ve never experienced blatant racism asside from a few microaggressions here and there. i often feel disconnected from the black community as a whole. i feel like an imposter. i feel like an outsider. when i was little, i didn’t even like to be called black.

i didn’t feel like i had a culture, really. i harbored so much internalized racism that i didn’t /want/ to be seen as black. only in recent years have i started to embrace my blackness. now, rather than wanting to escape this part of myself, i long to feel like i belong.

my dad tried to teach me about black history growing up, but i never wanted to listen to him talk about the oppression of people i was descended from but didn’t truly know or understand. now it’s as if i’m having to play catch-up, making up for lost time.

i guess the point of this thread is to say that i am black, but there is still so much i’m ignorant to about my community. but i want to learn. i want to understand.