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i think about how my art style changed so drastically when im rendering hlvrai characters.... i think theres some subconscious reasoning behind it... yea... i can talk about it a bit if thats ok
my usual style is pretty cartoony, and for the most of the time it rlly works irt the universe the characters come from...
but i feel like there was always this hesitation for me, i love to crack jokes and make humor, but almost all of my art was of that nature, i had a difficult time being vulnerable in my art making, even if it was something really personal to me
im not saying that any of my old art was a bad thing and maybe im thinking about this too much but i noticed that humor was always a defense mechanism for me. i would always think "oh i cant let ppl kno i love this thing THAT much, so lets sprinkle some jokes to play it off"
and i really love making jokes, i do, but when i first got into hlvrai , i started doing that facade again i think, where i had to pretend to only be in it for the jokes... i think i really love jokes at my core! but the more attached i got, the more real it all became for me
i started really thinking about like, how often i would hold myself back in my art-making... i started thinking about how/why i loved the things i do. i started trying realism a bit, and i noticed some ppl said it was a shock to see me doing that, but
i think its bcus i wanted to try to be a little bit more vulnerable with my art. these characters started as jokes but like, it really did start to feel like they became their own real people. i think its starting to reflect in my art that sentiment that i have for all of them,
idk i feel like im starting to realize that its ok to be vulnerable in my art making and not always have this like, wall of irony/joking... i feel like humor is good! i realy do i LOVE making jokes and others laugh, but i felt like it really gets in the way of ...
it gets in the way of being genuine... idk im just rambling at 3am but i feel like i made some kind of breakthrough through all this, i feel like ive been able to really let myself be ok with making heartfelt content that i was too scared of doing in the past
so i guess thats really why my style kind of changed... not just to fit the universe which the characters come from, but also because i feel like these characters became more real in my mind, with hopes dreams and stories outside of the material they come from
and i really want to share that, and make others feel that same love i have...idk... im rambling but im thinking a lot and i dont think i really put this into good words but, thank u hlvrai :"(
AND OFC THIS IS JUST ME TALKING ABOUT MYSELF PSYCHOANALYZING MY OWN HABITS.... oim not saying at all if u do cartoony/etc its bad!!!!!!!! its just me realizing "oh... thats why i did that / do this"..... sorry for the long long posts
