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A THREAD on the Drama Triangle. My piece yesterday, about the sense of betrayal that is driving the public row over #DominicCummings, has attracted a fascinating set of questions. So I thought I'd respond to some of the key themes in a thread. http://www.suzannezeedyk.com/the-drama-triangle-helps-make-sense-of-dominic-cummings-story/
2. The value of the Drama Triangle is that it helps us be more aware of stories - more aware of the way stories are presented to us, of the stories (dramas) that we are invited to step into. More awareness = more ability to avoid getting caught up in them.
3. So the point of my piece isn't Cummings the man. The aim is to show how the emotional stories with which we are presented by someone else (in this case our government) have a particular construction. Being able to see the shape, the construction, of the story is wise.
4. Why do stories work? How do we get caught in stories (dramas) often without realising? Because that's how human brains work. From birth, brains are noting experiences, knitting them together into patterns, & creating stories of MEANING out of that. https://www.open.edu/openlearn/health-sports-psychology/childhood-youth/early-years/infants-understanding-their-social-world/content-section-2.1
5. So the Drama Triangle is a tool for helpng people see more clearly how Cummings' story has been constructed & the roles the public is being asked to play in that story. The point of the Drama Triangle is to make those roles conscious so that we can choose to step out of them.
6. Here is Cummings as Victim: "I didn't think ahead to arrange childcare in London, so we had no choice but to drive to Durham." The Govt agrees with his Victimhood, calling it 'reasonable'. The Govt asks us to agree too. Most folk don't. https://metro.co.uk/2020/05/27/81-parents-wouldnt-travel-emergency-childcare-lockdown-survey-finds-12764409/
7. Here is the Govt as Persecutor w/in the Drama Triangle: "We're right, you're wrong, stop fussing." Persecutors are always right. That's why they don't have to listen to your feelings. https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2020/05/27/boris-johnson-says-time-move-rejects-inquiry-dominic-cummings/
8. Here's t role of Rescuer: "I did all these things to be a good dad to my family. So you shouldn't be mad at me." The govt agrees. Lots of people hv felt confused whn presented w/ ths constructn. Because they are also angry. The Drama Triangle helps them validate their anger.
9.Why do I think it helpful for ppl to understnd ths stuff? Why am I willing to subject myslf to t jungle that is Twitter? (Like Tim,who doesn't realise I'm on t same page as him &thinks I'm talkng bullsh*t.) Because t SUFFERING of families is being warped https://twitter.com/timjsimmons/status/1265735703373197313?s=20
10. Tens of thousands of people have sacrificed holding their loved ones' hand as they died in these last months. The terrible grief this causes only has MEANING because it was a kindness to us, a duty to others. We have asked awful things of ppl. Cummings' story laughs at that.
11. I am concerned abt t people who will turn that grief back on thmselves. Like ths woman, whom @fionalarkin13 describes. The actions of Cummings & t govt are causing her to feel shame. Their actions WARP HUMAN DIGNITY. I will do all I can to fight that. https://twitter.com/fionalarkin13/status/1264960486921166849?s=20
12. Understanding how t D.Triangle works keeps people frm more suffering. It lets us hold on to DIGNITY. It lets us be witnesses to what we told,not just receivers of it. (And if you already knew all this, that's fine. Lots of others hv felt confused.) https://twitter.com/alistairkelly62/status/1265941508672323585?s=20
13. @fotoole has made a similar point about the dignity of suffering in his own piece. "Cummings' [story] cuts right through to the pain of precious human bonds being forcibly severed. It grabs hold of that torment and it squeezes the MEANING out of it." https://www.theguardian.com/commentisfree/2020/may/26/cummings-contempt-lockdown-rules-public-catholic-church-ireland
14. Cummings is not a victim of anything. If understanding the Drama Triangle helps more people to hold him (& the government) to account, then that will help us also to hold on to the MEANING of the SUFFERING that has changed so many people's lives forever.
15/end. That is why, in my piece, I talked about betrayal. The #DominicCummings row we are havng right now is about values - about t deep MEANING of kindness, love, duty &sacrifice. Like so many others, I want those values intact in our post-COVID world. http://www.suzannezeedyk.com/the-drama-triangle-helps-make-sense-of-dominic-cummings-story/
