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Nairobi unapata mna share dem kama logins za Netflix. THREAD.
Wahenga wa kizazi kipya walisema mpenda kuni hali nauli...
Kuna dem tulikuwa tumechochana kwa WhatsApp for long nikaona it& #39;s time akuje kuni-tembelea... "Kuni" ikiwa keyboard
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">
Kuna dem tulikuwa tumechochana kwa WhatsApp for long nikaona it& #39;s time akuje kuni-tembelea... "Kuni" ikiwa keyboard
Nilikuwa nimehamia ploti mpya na nilidai akuje house warming, akadai nitume fare then ntamsho directions yeye atakuja..
Nikajua hakuna kitu hu excite hawa madem kama "Mpesa confirmed" nikatuma ndio asikuwe na excuse ya mbona hakukuja.
Nikajua hakuna kitu hu excite hawa madem kama "Mpesa confirmed" nikatuma ndio asikuwe na excuse ya mbona hakukuja.
Si nikafanya usafi, nguo chafu na vyombo chafu nikaficha chini ya kitanda, then ku mop bedsitter huwa rahisi coz part inaoneka ni 20% pekee, the rest of the house huwa imejifichwa chini ya kitanda https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Weary face" aria-label="Emoji: Weary face">
Nikatandika kitanda na nikakaza hadi nut za kitanda coz it& #39;s advisable ku inspect pitch before every important match... Nikajua leo ni ku quarantine and chill, leo lazima masaa ya curfew impate kwangu.
Ni dem nilikuwa nime meet naye once ile siku ya kwanza yenye nilimuomba number, alafu from there tulikuwa tuna meet tu WhatsApp kama wedding committees https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Weary face" aria-label="Emoji: Weary face">
Alikuwa one fine bird, sura inaendana na mwili, kama Total Rubia "mbele iko sawa" nyuma nayo alikuwa amebeba kama spare wheel ya jeep... In short alikuwa amebarikiwa na kila kitu except fare https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🙄" title="Face with rolling eyes" aria-label="Emoji: Face with rolling eyes">
So after two hours of waiting dem akadai hakuji kuna emergency kwao ameenda ku attend ati tu reschedule hiyo date ana promise she& #39;ll make it upto me
Nikaona atleast huyo decency ya kupeana excuse badala ya kuzima simu ama kukata kushika simu.
Nikaona atleast huyo decency ya kupeana excuse badala ya kuzima simu ama kukata kushika simu.
Nika amua hiyo siku nilale kwa kiti nisiharibu kitanda nimetandika, nilitaka ibaki hivyo neat hadi siku huyo dem atakuja...
Hiyo very same day jirani wa next day alikuwa ameleta dem, akashinda ametusumbua usiku mzima na kelele za kupeana conjugal rights.
Hiyo very same day jirani wa next day alikuwa ameleta dem, akashinda ametusumbua usiku mzima na kelele za kupeana conjugal rights.
Wahenga walisema siku ya nyani kufa miti zote huteleza, jirani alikuwa ametu provide na audio ya migwatos sisi tuka amua kunyonga nayo...
If you can& #39;t join them, beat your meathttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🐒" title="Monkey" aria-label="Emoji: Monkey">
If you can& #39;t join them, beat your meat
Kesho yake asubuhi nika amka ku text dem "Good morning" juu walisema ukiwa in a relationship hizo good morning huwa full time job https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clown face" aria-label="Emoji: Clown face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clown face" aria-label="Emoji: Clown face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="🤡" title="Clown face" aria-label="Emoji: Clown face">
Nikangoja ajibu ndio nione kama tunaweza schedule hiyo meeting akuje hiyo siku coz ilikuwa bado weekend.
Nikangoja ajibu ndio nione kama tunaweza schedule hiyo meeting akuje hiyo siku coz ilikuwa bado weekend.
Ilikuwa ile weekend huwa unapata kila mtu nje, kuna wale wa kufua, wale wa kuchota maji, wale wa kuenda kutupa pampers, wale wa kujianika nje kama salamander kuota jua... Hao sasa ni sisi.
Kazi ni kuchambua vitu majirani walileta usiku tuwacheke ama tuwasifu.
Kazi ni kuchambua vitu majirani walileta usiku tuwacheke ama tuwasifu.
Msichana mrembo ni kama samaki, huwezi mkula chini ya maji lazima umtoe kwako mchana majirani waone pia wewe huwa na taste...
So jirani akaamua kutoa mgeni wake mchana kama watu tuko nje ndio tuone pia yeye hakuwangi mchache.
So jirani akaamua kutoa mgeni wake mchana kama watu tuko nje ndio tuone pia yeye hakuwangi mchache.
Hiyo siku ndio nilijua pia samaki huishi chini ya maji na bado inanuka... https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😷" title="Face with medical mask" aria-label="Emoji: Face with medical mask">
Dem jirani alikuwa analilisha usiku mzima kama tokens za stima imeisha alikuwa yule dem nilitumia farehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😢" title="Crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Crying face">
Dem jirani alikuwa analilisha usiku mzima kama tokens za stima imeisha alikuwa yule dem nilitumia fare
Yaani nilituma fare ndio akuje kukuliwa na jirani, definition ya kuchunga ng& #39;ombe na kuna mtu wa kukamua https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
Fare nilituma ikuliwe alafu tena nikuliwe dem kwa ploti same yenye naishi...
Fare nilituma ikuliwe alafu tena nikuliwe dem kwa ploti same yenye naishi...
Wewe unapea msichana roho yako yote na kumbe yeye mwili yake amegawa vipande, roho ni ya kuskuma damu, maina ni ya pombe, sura ni ya kuchanganya wanaume, akili ni ya kutafta pesa, miguu ni za ku spread kama injili, macho ni za kuona ceiling mpya na mdomo ni ya kukula fare https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😭" title="Loudly crying face" aria-label="Emoji: Loudly crying face">
Ilikuwa inauma but sikutaka kuleta drama ama kuchanua jirani ati najua huyo dem, sometimes it& #39;s advisable kunyamaza.
Kama ni mtaro ruka wacha wale wa kuanguka ndani waanguke ndani watakuwa funzo kwa wenginehttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😡" title="Pouting face" aria-label="Emoji: Pouting face">
Kama ni mtaro ruka wacha wale wa kuanguka ndani waanguke ndani watakuwa funzo kwa wengine
No wonder madem wa Nairobi hawakulangi sana wakienda dates, wanakujanga kama wamekula fare kadhaa before wa choose mahali watakuja sleep over https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😩" title="Weary face" aria-label="Emoji: Weary face">
Unadhani mapenzi ni kama pikipiki itakubali tu watu wawili kumbe ni tuktuk, mnajipata watatu ndani.. Mapenzi ingine ni bus za Msamaria Mwema zile za kuenda Khwisero, inabeba kila mtu.
