I don't know who needs to hear this right now but being part of a social network does not entitle you to the time/care of people with similar interests. When it does overlap, it can be great. If someone does not express interest in your work or by proxy, you, it's not personal.

Online visibility generally but not always = a parasocial relationship where you are confronted with many, many vectors where someone is overly familiar with you (and I mean YOU! if you do something stupid like podcast) and you have no idea who they are at all. Not a clue.

I feel like people talk enough about shitty comments and reply guys and weird DMs but the fact is that I understand the fear of reaching out and being heard and feeling like you don't have a platform but someone else has. I get that, I really do.

But the thing I think it really boils down to when it comes to it is this: there's a perception of authority that comes from people listening in when it really is just individuals trying to talk about stuff online, from their own perspectives, and within their own interests

I know a lot of people have other platforms outside of Twitter be it Discord or GCs or Facebook but some of us limit the time/space we have online because it is fucking overwhelming. And I'm speaking from a place where I don't even talk to my bfs for days bc I have to log tf off

I'm not actively seeking social engagement outside of a general reminder that there's some good in the world and I'm not the best to speak to how to deal with it when actively pursuing it, I don't have a lot of people that follow me, and its still hard

Because like once you get that overlap of interests people have expectations. And like I understand that, we're all cultivating our own gardens, but that also means having people mad because you weren't the friend they signed up for when they decided to engage

We are human beings with short attention spans and a limited economy of that attention. We have a distilled space of similar interests and mostly similar ideology where we can do little handshakes of good faith over our fave things. But that isn't a real relationship usually

When it becomes a real relationship is when you take the time/effort to get to know someone, most esp. their boundaries, and they get to know you. And the key is do not come into this with the expectation that this person a) knows you b) is rejecting you if they don't know you

I have put more hours into engaging with strangers on the internet than I have into having a reasonable social life and it shows. I don't regret it, but it also hardens you bc you will need to find people to trust and it will never be those who don't know you. It works both ways

So how do I make friends and influence people (fuck that assumes I have anything to say, i don't)
1) respect boundaries
2) withhold expectations
3) don't subtweet people I know
4) reply to people i know
5) create my own content honestly (and for people but always for myself)

6) if you want to be friends with people the easiest way to do that online is to find an extremely niche interest that they have and SUPPORT THE FUCK OUT OF THEM by being deeply invested or at least marginally interested in it as well

And there is always, always the caveat that people may not know what's going on either externally or with you, internally, and that is not grounds to be rude online even if it can be an opportunity to talk about something that you feel is important

Also people will hate you, and that's cool. The best part of when people hate you is when they do it over things you've never said or done! Even cooler, really. You'll know you've really made it then. Just enjoy the free real estate

This tweet thread inspired by the fact that reylo is just that powerful: https://twitter.com/enfysblessed/status/1265873405783404544?s=19

Literally, actually, physically cannot be reciprocated for the most part. Like I wish I had more mental and emotional space for it and I am grateful for people who do https://twitter.com/Bombastique1/status/1265874588245909504?s=19

Final anti-authoritarian cap on this thread: follower count, checkmarks, and platform mean jack shit. It's about saying something that people agree with sometimes, and that's it. And that's no guarantee what you say won't be dumb af but if you're good you'll learn from it