I've spent the past few days sitting with the discomfort of how white women choose to carry their race. I will be upfront that I carry privilege of identity, that I can move through parts of this life with ease that others don't experience simply because of the color of my skin.

But as I've watched the stories continue to mount regarding #GeorgeFloyd's death and #ChristianCooper's unwarranted harassment, I've seen how easy it is for white women to fall back into a familiar pattern.

They share an Instagram post affirming their belief that #BlackLivesMatter , they retweet a perceived thought leader's comment or quote to demonstrate that they are not - could never be - like #AmyCooper.

But the reality is that white women are not doing the self-work to understand why their first instinct is calling 911, why they can't access their own words to stand in solidarity and rely on sharing the words of others.

White women remain unchecked because of their privilege, because they carry their race as a concealed weapon without consideration for the actual harm it can and does bring to situations.

I know this because I am a white woman, because I have spent time with other white women. And we don't check each other in the way we should, we don't sit in the heaviness of reflection that these crises deserve.

Hitting the retweet or share button is not enough but we've let ourselves believe that it is. And we need to stop. We need to hold ourselves accountable, hold each other accountable, for engaging in understanding our reactions and lack of action.

Stop sharing the videos. They perpetuate harm and trauma. Sit with the discomfort of why sharing the videos are your lowest hanging fruit, most easily available option. Ask yourself how you can dive deeper into the conversation.

And hold yourself accountable for checking your own privilege and bias. Make a plan for how you'll hold other white women accountable for their words and actions and inactions. Make a plan to show up meaningfully in this conversation instead of hiding behind a retweet.

I need to do better and be better, too. I know that and I own it and want to continue to grow in this area.