I'm here to destroy some illusions about australia.

At least where I live there are not spiders everywhere. If giant poisonous spiders were everywhere we'd keep them at bay anyway. I hardly see any spiders beyond daddy long legs in my everyday life. Or snakes.

Drop bears are a myth. If anything they are just proof of australian sense of humour, which is the biggest threat to you here. Dropbears were made up to fuck with foreigners because we think you're stupid.

We do not cook shrimp on the barbie. We barely even cook shrimp. We cook prawns, which are kinda different. But prawns are not cooked on the barbie, either.

Australias landmass is as large as the united states. Most of it is still uninhabited though. But we are not small.

Land harnesses are not a real thing. Gravity works all around the world.
We do not use kangaroos for transportation. I don't think anyone wants to be in a kangaroo's pouch, it's kinda weird in there? Unless you're into that.

Australia is not extremely hot all the time. If you're been to Arizona, we're way better than that. We actually have a winter season. Although, it doesn't really snow in most places.

A lot of our prices for things in Australia is higher due to importing, however it is important to remember that the Australian dollar is not equal to the United States dollar.

Australia is extremely multicultural and kind of weird because of it. Inherently we're pretty -english- here. We're taught to spell colour the correct way.

We generally just don't give a shit. We just. Generally do not give a shit.

What Americans call Republican, we call Liberal.
What Americans call Liberal we call Labour.
Sort of. Kind of. That's the gist of it. So if you see a mega anti-liberal australian, well, maybe check what they mean before you get political.

We have a dark sense of humour in general over here. I'm pretty sure by most country's standards, we're just right assholes.

"Shel b rite" is one of my favourite Australian sayings because it is just the complete and total summary about how much we don't fucking care sometimes. It'll be fine. She'll be right. Nothin' to worry about, mate.

One of our prime ministers disappeared once. Harold Holt left his clothes at the shore of the ocean and we never saw him again and we never found out what happened. To further emphasise our dark humour, we named a swimming centre after him, and a lot more.

Australians do not fear God.

Australians don't really fear much of anything. I was specifically told the main way to deal with snake venom for aboriginal people back in the day was to just. Sit down and stay there for like. 24 hours or something.

Y'all still scared of poisonous snek??

Not everyone who showed up to Australia is a convict. There's a number of other settlers. Although I have no idea of my heritage, I prefer to tell people I am of convict descent because I'm a gremlin.
If I wear black and white stripes I call it "the colours of my people"

Same-sex marriage became legal in Australia in 2017. We were going to get it much earlier, and then a really homophobic Prime Minster was voted in. Luckily, I am in no rush to be married.

We borrow some terms, but officially:
Australians go through kindergarden as wee babies, preschool.. and then starting from grade 1 is Primary School. High school is a term that pops up a lot, but officially they're called Secondary Schools.

Do you ever wave to scare away flies? Just kinda shoo them away with your hands? This is called an Aussie Salute. Yes. Really.

Bungalow is a real word.

Australia has been doing especially well during COVID. We actually made an app to let people know if they've been in contact with anyone who's confirmed to have it.

Whether or not it works properly is up in the air.

There is a myth that the name for the animal, Kangaroo, translates to "I don't know." This is not actually the case.

We do not really have Gamestops here. Just EB Games, which is owned by the same folks, sure, but..

As I'm aware, EB Games is basically dead in the United States and most places?

Our internet connection may be slower, however it is -far- better than it used to be, and I trump a number of my american friends with my internet speeds.