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Okay!! I wanna expand on this and offer some advice for allo writers on how to avoid accidentally alienating ace and/or aro people with the themes in your novels!
(thread) https://twitter.com/thehufflepuffle/status/1265791352614170624
(thread) https://twitter.com/thehufflepuffle/status/1265791352614170624
It’s easy to let aphobic narratives into your writing because a lot of them are DEEPLY ROOTED in common used tropes and themes. In all categories and genres but it’s most prominent in YA fantasy and romance.
Here are some common things to avoid!
Here are some common things to avoid!
1. Romantic Love/Sex/Desire are not universal experiences:
-this one comes up a lot in ya contemp romance.
-it’s important to normalize these things in ya and not shame teens for desire but in the process many of you shame teens who don’t by accident.
-normal ≠ universal
-this one comes up a lot in ya contemp romance.
-it’s important to normalize these things in ya and not shame teens for desire but in the process many of you shame teens who don’t by accident.
-normal ≠ universal
2. Love makes us human
-a common theme in YA is that love makes us human
-you can do this without alienating aromantic people. Stop focusing on romantic love in these instances. Platonic, familial, pet love, team love, found-family.
romantic love is not > other kinds of love
-a common theme in YA is that love makes us human
-you can do this without alienating aromantic people. Stop focusing on romantic love in these instances. Platonic, familial, pet love, team love, found-family.
romantic love is not > other kinds of love
3. General Allonormativity
-think “does this assume everyone feels romantic love/desires sex”
-if the answer is yes, you’re alienating your aro/ace audience.
-think “does this assume everyone feels romantic love/desires sex”
-if the answer is yes, you’re alienating your aro/ace audience.
4. Villains without love
-do not use a lack of romantic love to explain why your villain is bad.
-please no more “this person kills people because they don’t have a romantic partner :(“ narratives I’m begging you to stop.
-do not use a lack of romantic love to explain why your villain is bad.
-please no more “this person kills people because they don’t have a romantic partner :(“ narratives I’m begging you to stop.
5. “More than friends”
-to add to romance is not > Other love, be careful about how you describe romantic relationships compared to platonic ones.
-implying romantic relationships are more valuable than platonic ones is harmful even if you aren’t aro/ace imo.
-to add to romance is not > Other love, be careful about how you describe romantic relationships compared to platonic ones.
-implying romantic relationships are more valuable than platonic ones is harmful even if you aren’t aro/ace imo.
Romantic and platonic relationships are different! But one is not better than the other!
If someone desires romance with a friend it’s not because they feel more strongly about them then their other friends it’s just a ~different~ feeling.
If someone desires romance with a friend it’s not because they feel more strongly about them then their other friends it’s just a ~different~ feeling.
A general rule of thumb I use is to focus not on what kind of love it is when measuring it (platonic vs romantic, etc.) but to focus on the /quality/ of the love.
toxic romance < strong friendship and vice versa.
Strong romance = strong friendship.
Etc.
toxic romance < strong friendship and vice versa.
Strong romance = strong friendship.
Etc.
6. Sexual Intimacy as a requirement of emotional intimacy.
-get it out of your heads that those romantically in love must have physical intimacy for it to be true.
-just as romantic love is not a requirement for sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy is not a requirement for love.
-get it out of your heads that those romantically in love must have physical intimacy for it to be true.
-just as romantic love is not a requirement for sexual intimacy, sexual intimacy is not a requirement for love.
A great tribute of the above is Kaz/Inej in Six Of Crows. (Light spoilers)
Though they have a few moments of touch they don’t prefer them. Yet their relationship is still incredibly romantic and they do not love each other any less for it.
Though they have a few moments of touch they don’t prefer them. Yet their relationship is still incredibly romantic and they do not love each other any less for it.
These are all things to be mindful of when writing. It’s easy to let societies view of love and sex infiltrate your writing and alienate your ace/aro audience in the process. I hope this will help people recognize when this happens and decrease its prevalence!!
