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Oh the TL is talking about self hate ahahah
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My self hate was deeply rooted in the environment I grew up in. I didnât actually learn to love myself physically or mentally until I went away to college
I also didnât realize how racist and disgusting the town that I grew up in was until I was able to get out and was able to acknowledge and understand the microagressions and things that were expressed to me
I would miss school if my hair wasnât done, never wore braids because they were to black for me, thought that I was better then other people because I was raised in a certain community, thereâs a lot of things you believe when youâve been fed info from K-12
Some people canât believe that it took me that long, and wonder why did my parents not emphasize the importance of black evironments, and the crazy part was that they did and they tried to get me to experience more than my small town but I wasnât receptive at all
To me I was at my white school with my white friends doing white activities while they were doing the opposite, I didnât think I had anything in common with them so I ostracized myself. While there is still a disconnect and many of my friends have different experiences...
...I am definitely more receptive and open to more then what I was growing up. It took a long time to get where I am today, I still have a way to go, but I climbed off my high horse and started recognizing and actually loving my blackness
I can go longer, I can go deeper, but just know I have grown
