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Just dawned on me I haven& #39;t seen my bank card in 8 weeks due to lockdown.
Contactless and online makes them pretty useless.
Contactless and online makes them pretty useless.
I used to be a cash hoarder.
I got paid in cash (legally) 15-18 then again when I was early 20s. Hid money away and always knew how much I had/didn& #39;t have.
I got paid in cash (legally) 15-18 then again when I was early 20s. Hid money away and always knew how much I had/didn& #39;t have.
Took me ages to stop withdrawing everything that wasn& #39;t owed and keeping it in a drawer. I just needed to see what I physically had to live on until the next payday.
Now I& #39;m so used to not having cash I didn& #39;t even realise I had Β£18 in change in an old wallet.
I know when everything changed.
When I worked in a London bar as an assistant manager and living rent free.
Earning Β£22k a year in 2013, only paying for phone contract and Spotify.
When I worked in a London bar as an assistant manager and living rent free.
Earning Β£22k a year in 2013, only paying for phone contract and Spotify.
It started well, paid debts, went on two holidays, spoiled friends and myself as I was working so hard I& #39;d become slim and fit. On a rare trip home I spent about Β£1500 on clothes, tattoos and gifts.
Most I& #39;d ever spent on myself, other than college & an iMac from an ISA at 18.
Most I& #39;d ever spent on myself, other than college & an iMac from an ISA at 18.
Then a few friends suggested cocaine on a lock in. I partook (I had done previously at gatherings) but it was just fun.
I was back in at 2pm. All good, made new friends.
I was back in at 2pm. All good, made new friends.
Then work started getting too much. I was not only doing 70+ hours a week, manager was computer illiterate. Meaning I was basically doing his job while he drank Fosters and moaned.
So I ordered a G to get me through my 15 hour shifts. It lasted over a week.
So I ordered a G to get me through my 15 hour shifts. It lasted over a week.
I partook in it recreationally a few more times, once a week at most. I excelled at work. I hoped for a new manger or transfer, but his lack of knowledge made me look good. 
https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π€·π»ββοΈ" title="Woman shrugging (light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Woman shrugging (light skin tone)">
Then one night (8/11/2013) I met a boy. His smile took my breath away. As it was the night before my birthday I was off early and ended up bumping into him at a club up the road.
At mine he revealed he had coke, I also had some. (My 1g a week had load left).
At mine he revealed he had coke, I also had some. (My 1g a week had load left).
We had a great night, he went out at 6am when the off-licence opened and got me champagne.
I then went to my "surprise" birthday party late. Assuming I& #39;d not see him again.
He turned up 2 days later (around the time I was sobering uphttps://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">). With vodka and more drugs.
I then went to my "surprise" birthday party late. Assuming I& #39;d not see him again.
He turned up 2 days later (around the time I was sobering up
This became such a habit he got fired from his job as a designer for not showing up.
I end up offering him a chef job.
He takes it and pretty much lives with me.
We end up getting high most nights.
I end up offering him a chef job.
He takes it and pretty much lives with me.
We end up getting high most nights.
I however still was working 70+ hours. Some nights he would disappear and stay at his mum& #39;s/his place.
Except a few of those times he stole my bank card. He knew the pin as 70% of the time I paid for drugs and I sent him to get the cash.
My fault.
Except a few of those times he stole my bank card. He knew the pin as 70% of the time I paid for drugs and I sent him to get the cash.
My fault.
I rectified this cash unbalance by having his wages paid into my bank and giving him the difference.
I WAS AN ENABLER!
I became the bad guy by proxy.
I WAS AN ENABLER!
I became the bad guy by proxy.
Before anyone says I wasn& #39;t the villain in this story.
I took in a stranger, kept taking drugs with him which ruined his career while I thrived, became his boss, then his bank.
He stole/borrowed from me. I fixed that to benefit me.
I took in a stranger, kept taking drugs with him which ruined his career while I thrived, became his boss, then his bank.
He stole/borrowed from me. I fixed that to benefit me.
He (34) ended up cheating on me with a kitchen girl (18). After that I threw him out and my mates felt sorry for him.
They shouldn& #39;t have. He ended up getting back into his art and family he& #39;d been ignoring.
I ended up (10 months later) having a mental breakdown.
They shouldn& #39;t have. He ended up getting back into his art and family he& #39;d been ignoring.
I ended up (10 months later) having a mental breakdown.
My manager got fired, I ended up doing 120 hr weeks as we were "shuting for refurb soon" so no new staff needed - 4 months later it happened.
Because I& #39;d been doing so many hours for so long (thanks drugs!) They assumed I could cope.
Because I& #39;d been doing so many hours for so long (thanks drugs!) They assumed I could cope.
Had the option to work at another bar in the 3/4 weeks it was shut or take time off.
After a week off... I remembered what happy was.
At the time didn& #39;t know I was bipolar. Went full on manic.
After a week off... I remembered what happy was.
At the time didn& #39;t know I was bipolar. Went full on manic.
Mania can feel awesome. And it did!
I had lust for life, was creative, went out anywhere that wasn& #39;t my workplace.
I had lust for life, was creative, went out anywhere that wasn& #39;t my workplace.
A week before reopen date I was called in to the pub.
It looked like south London and Shoreditch had an abortion in it.
Then they told me I& #39;d be co-assistant manager.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π" title="Expressionless face" aria-label="Emoji: Expressionless face">
And she tried to train me with new staff... I walked.
It looked like south London and Shoreditch had an abortion in it.
Then they told me I& #39;d be co-assistant manager.
And she tried to train me with new staff... I walked.
After that everything went downhill, but like in a cartoon where you go over loads of hills.
I ended up knowing who were my real friends.
When I was starving that ex bought me two bags of food.
@JoeKelpie kept me safe, sane and housed.
A mate came help me move from London to my mum& #39;s. Turned out he wanted to sleep with me & since dating I& #39;m blocked.https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="π" title="Face with tears of joy" aria-label="Emoji: Face with tears of joy">
When I was starving that ex bought me two bags of food.
@JoeKelpie kept me safe, sane and housed.
A mate came help me move from London to my mum& #39;s. Turned out he wanted to sleep with me & since dating I& #39;m blocked.
