One time, I was driving home- it was late night, I had just got finished bartending, and I was taking my then boyfriend (who was also our bouncer) home on my way.
I had been pulled over a number of times before- the perk of owning very shitty cars- but this was different.

This was the night I truly saw what white privilege was.
See, my boyfriend at the time was a semi pro athlete-6’8, 300 lbs of muscle, dreadlocks down to the middle of his back- and he was a dark skinned black man.

I was pulled over for not having a front plate- the kind of stop they always do at 3am- an informal sobriety checkpoint.
I also didn’t have my lisence with me- I needed to replace it and forgot.
I see the lights, and pull over

My ex already had his hands flat on the dashboard.

I do the normal thing of reaching for my paperwork, and my ex stops me. “Do NOT move right now.”
I look, and they have the spotlight on us- but I could see the outline of the officer pointing his weapon next to the stoplight.

I had never had a weapon drawn on me.

“Will the passenger of the vehicle please step out, with your hands in the air.”
My ex gets out of the car, making sure his hands are visible at every moment. He knew exactly what to do, because he’s had to do it before.

I’ve never been ordered out of a vehicle.

The officer tells him to lie on the ground, while moving towards the car, with his gun still drawn, pointing at my ex on the ground. He cuffs him, roughly, and puts him in the backseat.

I have never been cuffed and put in a police car for no reason.

Officer comes back to talk to me, and his weapon is holstered, while he calmly explains why he pulled me over- then he asks for my partners personal items. Meanwhile, I’m asking why my boyfriend is being arrested- there has to be a reason, right?
(Spoiler- there wasn’t one.)

The officer then goes through his backpack, saying he needs to get his ID. While doing this, the officer starts asking questions about whether I was forced to drive my ex somewhere, or if I was in danger.
He keeps searching the bag after locating the wallet.
Looking for a reason.

He goes back to the patrol car, and after a few minutes, walks up with my ex, unlocks the handcuffs, and tosses his backpack at him. He hands me a warning for the front plate, never questions my lack of ID, and we are allowed to leave.

I had just seen discrimination in action.

My ex had NO record. He was an athlete, and a good person.
But he had gotten pulled out of vehicles and searched and handcuffed his whole life.
Because he was black.
He told me about the talk every black boy has with their parents- about how to handle any police interaction.

I’ve been pulled over before and since, and I have NEVER experienced anything like that night. I have neon hair and am covered in tattoos and look suspicious af, but ive never had an officer assume I was guilty of something like that.

I’ve never had to fear violence from a cop.

And THATS white privilege.
We don’t have to fear being killed for a traffic violation.
Or selling cigarettes.
Or forging checks.
Or arguing with police officers.
Or telling someone to leash their dog.

EVERYONE deserves that privilege.
We should all be fighting for that.

We should all be outraged at the unjustified murders based on skin tone that are happening across the US. We should be calling out prejudices of our peers when we see them.

But instead, we don’t want “drama.”
We minimize, and call them “Karen” instead of “racist”.

Fuck that shit.
Fuck being polite.
Fuck awkward laughter at racist jokes.
Fuck letting murderers take a paid leave of absence before quietly changing to another department.
Fuck staying silent while your racist uncle rants at thanksgiving.

We need to end this, yesterday.

Fuck “they mean well.”
Fuck allowing racists to benefit from our silence.

And if you’re listening to my experience as a white witness to discrimination and ignoring the black voices who have been telling you that they experience this regularly - you’re part of the problem.