This is a controversial opinion, (and just to be clear this isn't about TDP) but I've seen in multiple fandoms the bogeyman of the m/m shipper who "disrespects" a wife character. I understand that there is misogyny in fandom & often times women characters get unfairly derided

But I've seen many examples of people condemning the supposed misogyny of m/m shippers who "disrespect" a wife character by either ignoring her in their fanworks or by being hateful on her tags. But like it's just a lie & when u dig deeper that stuff isn't actually happening??

I saw this w/ the anime Tiger & Bunny. There was a popular post about m/m shippers hating on the main character's dead wife. But there wasn't any hate at all. & just from a logical stand point, she didn't "get in the way" of the ship cuz she was dead. So y wud there be hate??

This also happens in media where the wife character isn't featured at all in the show, but rather is a small note in the lore. Like in Pacific Rim when it was revealed Hermann has a biracial wife. I wasn't really active in the fandom

So there probably was misogyny and racism due to the character. But there were also accusations thrown at the actor who stated his preference of the m/m ship in a joking way. Which was kinda understandable because the wife wasn't in the movie & he never acted with her mind.

And even her appearance in the ancillary lore was really more a brief note. She was not a fully fledged character at least during that time. So accusing people of not caring for POC representation because they'd rather stick with movie canon and their m/m ship was wild to me.

& now I've stumbled on this same "wife discource" again with R76. Like does Gabriel even have a wife? Has that been confirmed? No it hasn't. I believe he had a wife, but that's just a HC for now which is the case with most OW theories. He could have had a husband for all we know

But I guess we have to preemptively criticize all the vapid m/m shippers who will obviously hate on and "disrespect" Gabe's non-existent wife & are apparently seething at the possibility that he had a wife already. Nevermind that Bi Gabe is one of the most popular headcanons.

That's why I say bogeyman. Is this hatred of a very minor or non-existent character really a thing? Is "the fandom" really overrun w/ internalized misogynists that "disrespect wives"? Or r u condemning made up sexist shippers to feel superior about ur own fictional preferences?

Like I'm so relieved that you're totally on board with Gabe having a wife unlike those m/m shippers!! You're totally enlightened for fully supporting a ship that doesn't even exist yet and "protecting" a character that hasn't been or might never be written. Like what's the goal?

TBF I am getting way too heated about what amounted to just a couple tweets. But they're part of a pattern I've seen often. I've seen similar arguments about how shipping a man character w/ another man is disrespectful to his canonical woman love interest/gf/childhood crush/etc

For the most part I've seen these takes from mostly 1) people who prefer a character in an m/f ship which is valid & 2) people who prefer to explore female characters in their fanworks which is also valid. But insinuating that people who focus on male characters/ships in their

works are inherently sexist to the point of making up scenarios where these people spread hate of women characters is ridiculous. Also, there's something to criticize about the prevelance of dead wives/mothers or women characters that are more footnotes in a male characters life

& I'm glad for fan creators who create transformative works centered on these characters where they're main & alive. But sneering at people who aren't as invested or who don't share what amounts to your headcanons is honestly silly and useless.

I'll stop my rant now. It's just a pattern I've seen that frustrates me. And honestly, maybe an unpopular opinion, but if you want to ignore canonical love interests (even husbands & wives!) in your fanworks/HCs no matter the gender, that's valid too. They're not canon after all.