Trying to date and talk to boys is my nightmare and I legit cry about it all the time bc it fuels my thinking of unworthiness. I’m actively trying to undo that and get out of my comfort zone. HOWEVER! 2 things I’ve learned while doing this. —>

I can’t date a boy who also has as much anxiety as I do. Went on a date with one before and it was just us being COMPLETE STRESSBALLS the ENTIRE time! I don’t want that in my life at all! I have plenty of friends that also struggle with these problems but to date one? No thanks.

I hate that I’m this way but I am NOT a BAMF independent queen. I AM the girl who needs to be saved and needs someone to depend upon. It SUCKS but that’s just me.

And ANOTHER thing. I am UNCOMFORTABLE talking to boys in ANY situation. It comes from a place of TRAUMA! It takes a little bit for me to open up, but when boys immediately start with https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="😘" title="Face throwing a kiss" aria-label="Emoji: Face throwing a kiss"> I want to https://abs.twimg.com/emoji/v2/... draggable="false" alt="👋🏼" title="Waving hand (medium light skin tone)" aria-label="Emoji: Waving hand (medium light skin tone)">

I have actively tried as much as I am capable to put myself out there, but it feels like shit. every. time.

Sorry this thread was way too emotional but I guess what I’m saying is that if anybody has someone they think is perfect for me send them my way